Little Stories…
Little stories are everywhere….
Dress for Success --- As long as you are prepared…
She had demonstrated her ability to design and execute the remaking of stores for Apple, Williams Sonoma, and independent projects. Once again she found herself in the remaking of a brand that had grown old for consumers. Interior design is detailed work. It is the architectural work for the inside of a store space. Different than the building architecture, interior work has to factor in the attractiveness of a store to entice customers to purchase your product.
She worked for weeks preparing a presentation for her superior to give to the CEO of the company – or at least that was the plan. Interior architecture is detailed and challenging. Every little thing that changes requires a detail drawing. Change the dimensions of the shelving means everything has to change. Late nights and follow up make stress a frequent visitor. Morning of the event – what to wear. My belief is you dress as if you are important. Important people like talking to important people so if you are in that room make sure you look like you’re the one people should be talking to. As it turned out she looked important that morning and when her boss gave her the microphone she looked the part and her presentation was perfect and most importantly well received by the CEO.
As much as we focus on the hours of preparation, the little things are still important and they help support you when the stage is yours. Dress for success is not just a cheeky phrase, it is as important as you are ---- so look the part you are meant to play.
Starting a new business
Even if you are the best at what you do, most jobs are essentially hourly jobs which require you to be there - hourly. So, the idea is to build your business so you can earn money while you are sleeping. I have an amazing trainer who has kept me at the top of my game, not to mention all of his other clients. They range from hi level ballet dancers to Olympic class athletes to somewhat older folks. He and his partner have undertaken one of the most difficult projects – building a business. Finding the perfect place to meet the needs of clients. Then comes the business plan to expand and bring in more revenue and serve a broader population. Then it’s the execution – detail, details – a new billing system – new sound system – flooring for the dancers -- weights for training and on and on. Personal training in its basic form is an hourly vocation. The upward trajectory, dedication and perfect execution will lead to a valuable business and hopefully revenue while you’re taking care of all the other things in your life. The Collective Studios -- State of the Art Fitness Facilities 1750 Fulton Street San Francisco Opening soon --- check it out – you will be glad you did and so will your body… https://www.collectivestudiossf.com/
Telling a Story
Good stories about things that you might not have known
Anaphylactic shock is a severe immune system response. It is most often delivered by food or insect stings.
Couples often compete in an undeclared manner for who can tell the best story. I was having lunch with my lovely friends who have achieved much on their own and are now accomplishing much as a couple. We were talking about Sausalito and she said the veterinarian in Sausalito saved the life of her dog. How did that happened I remarked? I know her fiancé had heard this story and naturally he did not demonstrate an overabundance of interest in hearing it again. I have experienced this a lot over the years. I find myself to be massively entertaining but those women who have spent more than a little time with me are aware that not all of my stories are new. Even though they are continually entertaining to me, they are not always regarded as such by others. Nevertheless, the tale of the vet and the dog’s life continued. An important fact – The dog we are speaking of is 8 pounds and that is after a really big meal. Her owner is the prima ballerina at the SF Ballet and as such she was in the city practicing, as amazing athletes do…. The dog sitter called to say that she was rushing said 8-pound dog to the local vet --- why? The dog had been stung by a bee and went into Anaphylactic shock. I was riveted by this story, first, because I did not know this could happen to dogs and, second, because I cared for an 8-pound dog for many years and am very familiar with emergency trips to the vet for one thing or another. The real outcome to this story was not so much the story but the telling and I thought she did a really good job. --- result we both teased the fiancé for an hour for lack of being supportive…..oh, the dog is still alive.
Entrepreneurship
Admittedly I am just now coming to understand a little about AI because I am still trying to wrap my head around 3D printing. But my 7-year-old grandson has no problem with either. Dress for Success – Building a Business --- Telling a Story ------- Just before Easter he combined all three of the values of these stories. He dedicated time and creativity and an understanding of 3D printing to creating an inventory of Easter Eggs which could hold baby chicks – a Tyrannosaurus Rex Toy – Light sabers and various other items that were attractive to his audience after extensive market research. Setting up his display table at school on the Thursday afternoon before Easter he managed to sell out and develop a substantial booking of custom orders. It is never too early to learn the value of hard work, dedication and thoughtful execution ----- plus it helps to be cute and have a big smile
Look around there are positive stories everywhere – just don’t look East
Easy to Lose, Hard to Regain
I remember Black Monday October 19, 1987 The Dow Jones lost (-508, 22.6%). By today’s standards it doesn’t seem like much but remember the DOW is an average and the average fell 23% not 3% or 5%. Importantly, it took almost two years to fully recover from this dark day. I remember thinking that my career in financial service was over before it had begun. I was a bond guy and did not fully comprehend the idea of a 23% drop in the value of the most important companies in the US. But it was the length of time it took to recover. Like the Crash of ’29, these things take time. Fixing the problem takes longer than creating the problem.
One my first day in New York the two senior partners came to speak to this new class of employees at the prestigious investment bank – Goldman Sachs. They did not talk about making money, or markets, or the business. They talk about integrity and reputation. They stressed the importance of maintaining the value of both. The risk is that once lost or questioned it would take years to recover if they were to recover at all.
I am concerned about the economics of the whimsical policies of this administration. What concerns me the most is our reputation amongst the other nations of the world. It doesn’t seem too long ago that the US was viewed as a global “honest broker”
Camp David Accords (1978) President Carter played that role between Egypt and Israel
Throughout the Cold War in the 1970s- 1980s the US tried to position itself as a stabilizing force
Dayton Accords (1995) That ended the Bosnian War
That label has faded over the decades as US foreign policy reflects self-interest over global interests of our friends and allies.
Jimmy Carter, Bill Clinton and Condoleezza Rice have been referred to and they have referred to the US as “the honest broker”
With this administration and its leader no one is referring to the US as the world’s “honest broker”. It will be many years or decades before it can regain the reputation of keeping its word or as the “honest broker”. Like Russia, North Korea and others of it’s like, we will keep or agreements when it fits us to do so.
A reputation is a fragile thing --- easily lost and even more difficult to regain.
You Never Know
Anyone who has had the good fortune of having children knows that in the noise of simply having children the amazing moments can get lost. When we are planning for the future, we often think in terms of accomplishments, possessions, and whatever else we don’t have now but might have in the future. Of course, one can set goals and focus, marvel at your achievements or grumble at your failures. Then the future arrives and when it does ---take a moment to recognize your good fortune that you arrived at the future and you are……
Standing in the middle of two tennis courts ……
The other day I went to a high school just north of my current residence. I was going to see two of my grandsons play a varsity tennis match against a rival school. This is not the level of play when I was playing tennis in high school --- no, this is high level play as these young men are excellent tennis players. It was a bit chilly as the Bay Area is in the throes of getting rid of winter and welcoming the warmth of spring. Not too surprisingly I was a little late, but my daughter and her husband were there watching the match. As the match carried on I walked down a pathway to get a better view and found myself standing between two tennis courts. Seeing that I had a better perspective, my daughter came to stand beside me and we watched and cheered the success of her two sons. Even more special was the confidence they exhibited in their play. They acknowledged us in their own way which made us both feel noticed and proud.
I turned to my daughter and said….
“When you were in your miserable college dorm room anxious about the results of your last psychology exam did you ever imagine a future where you would be standing here watching your two sons play hi level tennis.” Of course, she had not, but … “look how lucky I am to be here at this moment,” she said.
We dream of moments that may or may not happen and perhaps we even judge ourselves on the results of those dreams. The future is a difficult bench mark to measure our lives because we will never know the future until it arrives. One’s future goal should always be to be present and available for the future because it arrives in ways we cannot predict. If we are present and take a moment to acknowledge that it is here at this present moment it will be a dream come true. No matter what you hope for, it likely will be different but when it is here and you are standing between two tennis courts and your sons and grandsons are playing and succeeding at their future you are living yours …..
It is better than you thought….
The Good and The Sad
The Good
We should be grateful there are people who just cannot stop being gracious and generous. Oddly the information world would indicate that the world is dominated by those who are narcissistic, greedy, selfish, and unkind.
I attended an event last week in Los Angeles to honor and celebrate the 40th anniversary of the “No Kid Hungry” campaign by Share Our Strength (NoKidHungry.org). Share Our Strength is the brilliant philanthropic creation of Billy Shore and his sister Debbie Shore with the support of Rosemary Shore and a cast of dedicated people like Kathleen Pollenzani. This spectacular evening was to recognize their many philanthropic supporters and to pay tribute to Jeff Bridges, Alicia Moore (Pink) and Brooke Williamson who have dedicated time, treasure and talent in support of this worthy project. The United States has approximately 16 million children who are food insecure, which is a polite way of saying they do not receive proper nutrition. It is not a case of lack of food as the U.S. has plenty. It is the lack of political will. CEO, Anne Filipic, set the tone for the evening. She is an engaging speaker, demanding your attention while remaining energetic, warm and articulate. Her ability to hold the audience’s attention was the key to her critical message. My favorite address is always delivered by Billy Shore. I would attend these events just to hear his stories. He, Rosemary, and son, Nate, are the key characters in his warm and meaningful stories that hold your focus while he delivers his message of the importance of his organization. The punch line to this evening’s sweet story of a young Nate’s living room camping experience –-- knocking on his parent’s bedroom door he tells them………………………………….. “I can’t do this alone.”
It is, of course, the perfect lead line to describe the efforts of Share Our Strength. We all have our strengths but equally our weaknesses. We are better as a team than we are alone. I have written a book about the need to be vulnerable when building relationships but that comes with the equal need to be empathetic and exacting in your follow up and listening skills. No Kid Hungry is all about marshalling the forces of a diverse group of people to extract the political will from governing bodies to take the risk of doing the right thing for those that “can’t do it alone”. We all need help along the way. Regardless of the black and white message you hear from the Fox News talking heads or this current administration, the world is a complicated place and the problems we face are just that ---complicated!. Learning to compromise and collaborate are key skills needed to solve the immense array of issues we face on a daily basis. Finding the answer to complicated problems takes the effort of a broad set of people and skills. Share Our Strength is a model for just that kind of work.
The Sad
This event was held in Beverly Hills. Beverly Hills is clean, organized and downright pleasant to experience. Not two miles away to the east and to the west the world is entirely different. As far as you can see there is the charred remains and solitary chimneys of the thousands of homes that used to make up communities that were beautiful, unique, and home to many families. Home to tens of thousands who retreated to their homes at the end of the day to discuss the good and sad of the day. To regroup, enjoy a meal, rest and head out to meet the challenges of yet another complicated day. The Los Angeles fires scraped away all semblance of comfort and warmth those homes provided. The immense difficulties that millions of people face everyday are muted by distance. It doesn’t take much distance either. But if you are sitting in the middle of what the fires left the need for help is a stark reality of the fragility of the world. Governance is not a corporation. Governing and running a company are two entirely different institutions with different goals. Let us not be confused, governing is a supportive activity that provides help and protection when needed for all. Corporations produce products and make money for a limited group. They do not need to help unless they choose to. Sitting at my table at this wonderful event the conversation was all about helping and how to keep the ephemeral memories focused on those that need help. Understand that when you do not need help it is important to give help. It is sad and there is plenty of it and the solution is still political will.
I will remember my evening at the No Kid Hungry event because it assures me that there are many people who can help and want to help. They have a true understanding that the pendulum of life swings from good to sad and back ---- passing through equilibrium. I want to be associated with and look for people who understand the meaning of good governance and are willing to help when asked and understand that I may need help because….
“I can’t do it alone”
What Will It Take….
……To care enough
The Vietnam War protests were the largest and most influential in modern history. The student protests were most active between mid-1960s to the early 1970s. By 1968-70 antiwar protests were occurring at every major University in the country. Protests were global as they touched most countries. The war covered five US presidents from Truman to Nixon. The truth of the war and escalation was rarely revealed until South Vietnam fell in 1975.
There are many reasons for the war’s unpopularity from its fabricated rational, length (April 30, 1955 to April 30 1975), Americans killed (58,220) and wounded (153,000-160,000) not to mention combatants from the North and civilians. An additional principal reason for the successful protests was the immediate possibility of individual loss. With the probability of many young people being drafted and thus sent to fight with the possibility of never returning. The Selective Service system and the war were a real threat for men aged 18-25.
What does it take for people to care enough to require their government to do the right thing? What will it take for people to be upset enough to demand a better outcome or a better solution? Vietnam protests occurred because there was an absolute cost to individuals. There was a real timeline for a negative outcome. The things we currently get upset about now are temporary. With each passing day the fires in Los Angeles become a distant memory. The Haiti earthquake occurred long ago but the effects are still being felt. If you were burned, flooded or stormed out of your house then you care. But hurricanes only effect the people within a defined radius. People in Nebraska care little about hurricanes, tornadoes, yes, but not Florida’s storm.. They may be sympathetic or even empathetic, but in reality they do not care as much as those in the eye of the storm. We are upset that we cut off aide to international agencies or to Ukraine but do we care enough to spark large, national protests. It is that lack of caring that government counts on. Complacency is our weakness and governments power. Our attention span is short. There seems to be a great deal to be worried about but either the issues are too diffused or not central to our individual well-being for us to protest in large numbers..
So, the question remains what will it take for us to be upset enough to take to the streets to demand a better solution and better behavior. Have we become so desensitized or distant that we are unable to band together to force truth and honor from the institutions we profess to be important enough to protect?
We shall overcome
We shall overcome
We shall overcome, someday
Song by Joan Baez -- 1963
Hospitality
Gifts Abound
It’s the little things… The hospitality industry is filled with generous people who go beyond what is necessary to demonstrate kindness. Those that excel do much more than provide food and shelter, they touch your humanity with generosity.
Carmel Beach Hotel
If you are looking for a real taste of this perfect little town, this is the place for you. It is away from the tourist center in the quiet south end. A block from the spectacular Carmel beach it is the ideal small Inn. Aside from the expected amenities of a well-appointed room, parking and other conveniences this hotel offers you a staff that is not only kind and attentive but super gracious and they all clearly enjoy working at this beautiful small hotel.
It wasn’t an on-line travel platform that brought me here – no, it was the gracious invitation of Mike Freed and the Post Ranch Inn of Big Sur, which is California’s hospitality treasure. It was Mike’s effort and the Carmel Beach Hotel owner’s generosity that provided a wonderful room on a busy night.
Bar Le Côté
This is the sister restaurant to the Michelin Star Restaurant, Bells of Los Alamos. Brad Mathews creates a warm atmosphere with a beautiful creative menu which is prepared with extreme care and served by warm and knowledgeable staff. Now I have been to this restaurant many times and on this occasion was having dinner by myself. It was a lovely evening and then at the end I was informed that my dinner had been paid for – a totally unexpected act of kindness ---- Daisy and Greg had taken a rare night off to take their son to a basketball game in Los Angeles. I was unable to see them and yet they took time from a rare break from their schedule to extend this gracious gift of hospitality to me.
Scribe
This is a wonderful vineyard and winery developed on an old 1800 vineyard in Sonoma. On the way to the exit, a young man and his daughter approached me. I recognized him as Andrew Mariani, he along with his brother Adam have recreated this pre-prohibition Sonoma Valley winemaking gem into one of the most pleasant places to try their amazing assortment of well-crafted wines. It was he who recognized me which given the number of people he has to interact with was amazing in and of itself. But for my ego it was the fact that he said he continues to read this very blog that I am writing.
The point ---- I have interacted with all of these people along my personal journey but it is their individual generosity and hospitality that is unique in a world overrun by massive hotel chains, large corporate wineries and impossible to get a reservation restaurants. These are individuals that are operating finely crafted and curated businesses that continue to offer hospitality in small and big ways. Reminding us that relationships are built on the little things and that good businesses are fragile and are strengthen by the small acts of kindness and the remembrance that their clients are also fragile. Their kindness strengthens the bonds that bring loyalty and appreciation. Pay close attention and consider the events of your day and you will find that the gift of kindness is abound, especially from the amazing people of hospitality.
……Could I have the dressing on the side?
GO TEAM!!
Team Play
There is a ritual in most sports of putting hands in the middle of a circle and yelling an expletive as a common pre- and post-game tradition. I wrote about my granddaughter demonstrating this on her volleyball team. Typically, the team members gather in a tight circle – extend their hands into the middle and the captain or team leader yells something encouraging or forceful symbolizing unity and collective strength. --- Go Team or better yet some other more powerful and off-color word to boost morale and a mindset of confidence, solidarity, and achievement.
When I first started to work in the San Francisco office of Goldman my colleagues and I loved our boss. He was highly respected and we truly liked working with and for him. However as much as my work pals might have cared for him we were not always on the same encouraging team-demonstration page. During one such terrible market period we were gathered in a small conference room and John was delivering a heartfelt and encouraging talk about commitment and how we were all going to be just fine. The talk itself was inspiring and we loved him for that—however, timing is everything and at the end of his talk he thrust his hand into the middle of this small conference room table ready for a team ritual gesture as we had just described above. Years later, of course, I see exactly what he was doing, but at the time we all looked awkwardly at each other and mumbled something and shuffled out of the room. ----- Go Team!
I went to the San Francisco Ballet to see Sasha De Sola, the Principal Ballerina. We were the guest of her fiancé. The show was a three-part performance with an intermission between each dance. She performed the lead role in the second piece. At the conclusion my friend (The Fiancé) turned to me and said “Let’s Go”. What? I thought you had to stay until the end? Turns out when she had completed her performance she could and was heading for the exits and home to rest.
We went to the back stage door to pick Sasha up. We waited for a few minutes and here came this beautiful Ballerina that was just on stage in a spectacular outfit. She was wearing a baggy sweatshirt and jeans. I thought to myself don’t you have to wait for your colleagues to be done with their performance before you leave? Don’t you have a team meeting before and after? Don’t you stand in a tight circle and yell encouragement and a supportive powerful expletive to assure you are performing at your best?
NO!!! They, like my colleagues, missed the memo and shuffled out of the performance hall and went home only to return the next day to do it all again. Like my former boss, I was disappointed that this was not part of the performance team play model. They work hard, practice all day for weeks and then go on stage and perform. When it is over they go home just like you and I do. I guess I will have to find an older athletic team to experience this phenomenon as I think I missed my chance.
GO TEAM!!! WE ARE THE F……G BEST!!!!!
What?????Really????
Until it isn’t
Everything is there until it isn’t
I am not sure who or what to blame ….. I was thinking I generally like winter – the cooler air – more layers of clothing – skiing --- at least in California winter doesn’t really happen until January and you start worrying about rain and whether we have enough --- then February shows up and you think--- what happened to winter because next month is March and spring, the rain stops in April and we start complaining about how fast the year has gone by because it is now June and the year is half over and everyone is really talking about how fast?!!……now it is hot and the kids are not back in school and there is a summer party or what about a vacation, didn’t I deserve a vacation with the kids…then the fall and it was just New Year’s Eve
And then it isn’t…..
I heard today that a young colleague with an amazing family had passed away of a sudden heart attack after working out. I hadn’t talked to him in a long time because winter and the holidays and the year was going so fast and I had no plans for a summer vacation but I would call him next week and we would have a catch up and an opportunity to see how things were going and to review how we were and how we would be. The year was going so fast …. It was all so great and the times were fun and we have so much and we were and are so lucky. We were going to have a chance to talk about all of this because the year was brand new, it was only mid-month, and the week was just starting and it was all there…..
……and then it wasn’t
Boots and Friends
It is the confluence of several stories that culminated in an unexpected but predictable event. A good example of the value of being present and open to the people around you that are not predictably in your comfortable space. Being open to people outside your safe place cultivates resilience and enables one to not be complacent but spontaneous. It is a story of three friends ---- Friend: a person whom one knows and with whom has a bond of mutual affection and respect outside of family relations (Webster)
Friendship is the reward of being open and vulnerable which I will explore in my book to be published this fall.
When I was a cowboy a few years back I was introduced to Lee and Carrlyn Miller of Austin Texas. Lee is the apprentice heir designate of the world-famous Western boot maker Charlie Dunn. He has developed his own legacy. In every sense of the word, Lee is an artist. He and Carrlyn have dedicated their life’s work to the artistry of Cowboy Boot making. I have been fortunate enough to have waited the years it takes to receive the call to come to Austin for a foot measurement. Not only was the result all that one could expect but it was the friendship that bridged time, locals and background. The true gift was a friendship that has lasted decades.
I was always a fan of his music. It would short change his artistry to say he is a country singer. Lyle Lovett as a singer – songwriter crosses many genres of music. He surrounds himself with world renowned musicians when he tours acoustically and with his big band. He has collaborated with symphony orchestras, jazz greats, soul, and R and B talents. I first met Lyle in Santa Barbara when the amazing Celeste Billeci brought him to the University of California Santa Barbara as part of her well curated Arts and Lectures program. When I met him back stage the first thing he said to me was ---"Where did you get those boots?” They were, of course, Lee Miller’s handywork from Texas Traditions. We immediately had our connection over, not just music, but horses and our amazing cowboy boots.
I was recently in Austin to meet with my publisher. Friendship takes work as any rewarding relationship. Work in the sense of remaining available and present when the opportunity presents itself for a moment of in-person connectivity. — Away from the music and business. Remembering to make room to connect as humans in an unpretentious, perhaps vulnerable way without the guardrails of work and talent.
So, there we were in the unassuming home of Texas Traditions – the sign outside was unchanged with the faded lettering in place since 1898. Leather and boots line the walls with shoe last molds hanging from the ceiling. The wood floor rough from years of traffic and the work space—still the unassuming and humble place where four people create their remarkable product by hand. For the uneducated this work shop looks to be in need of an update but once you are inside everything is as it should be.
He sat in his unassuming manner on the boot chair with camera around his neck. “Hello, Fred.” he said, “Lyle” I responded as if we had just dismounted from our horses an hour before. Hard to describe the warmth and sincerity of this gathering of old friends. We talked about boots, horses, family, legacy and well, we just talked. Feeling the sincerity in voice and body language could never be replicated through technology.
I am grateful for this friendship in so many ways. However, the principal reason is the demonstration of the value of friendship no matter where or when it presents itself. Without expectation or need, a true friendship is there for you to embrace with sincere effort. Friendship weakens without effort. Let the opportunity come to you --- do not allow yourself to be preoccupied.
Carrlyn, Lee and Lyle ---- I am grateful for our friendship
Truth
The quality or state of being true.
Opposite: dishonesty falsity
· that which is true or in accordance with fact or reality.
Truth is the property of being in accord with fact or reality in everyday language, it is typically ascribed to things that aim to represent reality or otherwise correspond to it, such as beliefs, propositions, and declarative sentences. Truth is usually held to be the opposite of false statement.
Over the last decade, truth has become more difficult to define and accept. As one processes the blizzard of statements delivered over the various information dispersal platforms, the truth has more to do with desire than reality.
What you choose to believe has more to do with what you want to believe than it does with the acceptance of truth.
A reasonable exercise would be to look at the true facts rather than what you believe, want to believe, or wish to believe.
Truth, like many of life’s challenges, is something one strives to discover, understand and accept. Accept that responsibility, or relinquish it to others to determine truth for us.
Believe what you want…. however, there is a truth……. accept it or live in a world of false narrative, allowing others to define your Truth
Being Present
I was traveling last week and missed my publishing cut off. I am back!!!!.
Thinking about the traveling mind set and how it throws one into another universe of normality. Suddenly your schedule is altered and a new normal instituted. I am not getting coffee at the usual place, I have limited choice of clothing, workout schedule and trainer (who forces me to exercise correctly) is not happening, and so on. We interact with a new community of people. The taxi/Uber driver, the airline attendants, new receptionist, new commute, new food. Don’t get me wrong I like to travel but I don’t take care for myself in the same way. I don’t get much done. I am tired or maybe just out of sorts. A certain anxiety creeps in as one travels, even to the familiar.
However,
When you become present to the people and the surroundings as if they are the new normal your state of mind becomes relaxed and accepting. People outside of the US do not necessarily want to be like us. We seem to be under the false impression that when we travel things should be as they are when we are home. What would be the point of traveling if one cannot accept a new reality, a new way of going through the day. Home is where we are most comfortable and if we insist on taking home to another place we will maintain that anxiety of the unfamiliar. Being present resolves that anxiety and allows us to exchange it for excitement. The excitement of a new way of doing things. Not necessarily better or worse just different. Like a relationship if we accept it to be different it means we are being present. If on the other hand we try to make it like the old relationship it puts us in the past not the present.
The idea of isolation is based on the principle of non-acceptance. There are different ways of living in this world. Ours may fit us but does not fit all. The one size fits all is a pretty bland and unexciting way to march through life. Making the effort to be present and available will open up one to a broader and deeper relationship. In many ways this is also a valuable principle when building business relationships. Being present and available will allow that relationship to flourish in diverse ways versus MY way which shuts one down from hearing what the other person needs.
We cannot relive the past, we are bound to be disappointed with the results when we try to roll back progress and deny the positive growth attained through community, compromise and being present.
……Think about where we are heading……
Reality Sets In
It began to appear last night ---- the winter fog was filling the city, seeping in through the alley ways and around the buildings regardless of stature. It is a particularly cold fog as it embraces the chill rather than pushing the heat away as it does in its welcoming way during the heat of the summer. Even the fog horns are low and muffled as they are gripped by this frigid January evening. By morning the depth of its intrusion was revealed --- it was as unwelcoming as the night. I am not sure if it is sadness, melancholy, depression or just the wanting of some other feeling than what makes gray and cold feel so, well, gray and cold. December was the month of hope or maybe it was just a month of procrastination or to be oblivious to the reality that is ahead – January….
The month that was sure to come and it did…..now we understand that alcohol is actually as bad as we thought so we become dry --- or the prospect of eating sweet potatoes because they are good for men’s health along with chicken and beets Yum Yum--- the understanding that Jimmy Carter was an incredible human who served humanity for 100 years and that seemed too short ---- the fear that our current “leaders” might live that long and that seems unrelentingly too long --- maybe I am bummed because I fixed my electric train AFTER Christmas with the grandchildren and now they have to wait until next year --- can I leave it for eleven months hoping the cleaning people don’t run over it?--- I now realize that I cannot go to Little Joes every night even though I want to – My water bill was $2000 during an atmospheric river whose fault is that – my same personality flaws are still with me --- I stopped listening to the news but I can still feel it --- now that is depressing --- I put a large bag of unseparated Christmas everything and my neighbor called me out on it --- coyotes(which we shot on the ranch) had a party – two weeks of no rain and we are back in drought mode – my Italian is no better than it was last month --- The niners are out and the Warriors are in – sort of? --- Maybe the Chargers will take me – I bought mulch in the rain and now my car smells like it – Those old 20-dollar bills are still floating around, were we supposed to see a new one? --- like the new twenty dollar bills we will continue to demonstrate our ability to have the shortest attention span in history ---- anybody remember Jan 6th
Yesterday is like a bad memory ---- today is a bright sunny day…..What could go wrong?
What was I depressed about???
I can hear the fog horns again, now I remember ---- I am not feeling better about myself!!!
Happy New Year!!!! Or is it?
New Year
I like my coffee ritual. It is not so much about the coffee, although I prefer a milder Italian roast versus the “burned” coffee at Starbucks. I truly enjoy the relationship ritual built over time with the people working a coffee establishment. I buy a coffee at the beginning of my day and receive a warm greeting and a positive outlook. This small group of people make my morning an event worth waking up for. If you are in Italy you can develop a similar relationship provided you demonstrate some consistency and openness during your time in any Italian city.
As we approach the end of another year and begin to consider the events that may come to pass in the ensuing one, the ritual for the end of the year is about resolutions or promises we make to ourselves. A rather narcissistic approach to events yet revealed.
On New Year’s Eve morning I was speaking with one of my good friends at my usual coffee spot. We were commenting on the speed with which this current year passed. As we inevitably consider the growing reality that there is less time in front of us than in back, the years will pass with increasing speed. A deeper sense of the morning struck me as I felt a certain melancholy amongst my barista friends.
Rather than a New Year’s resolution that will be “me” oriented, I will pay more attention to the people who fill my day. The cursory sense of friendship with people that we interact with belies the deeper issues of their lives. I know so little of the lives of these friends as we sum up our day with the usual salutation and benign response.
I think this year rather than lose weight, stop drinking or exercise more I’ll start paying closer attention to the people around me who share a regular part of my life’s ritual but whose window to their life is covered by the curtain of convenience they afford me.
A resolution, if you will, to give rather than receive.
Happy New Year
No Matter What Or How You….
Celebrate ——- Christmas — Hanukkah —- Yalda Night (Islam) — Winter Solstice or a Pagan ritual —- this is a time of year to renew your friendships, acknowledge those you love, and recognize how fortunate your are. It does not matter what ritual you practice to help you be more connected with the people around you, this is a time to be grateful and to give thanks. The terms we use are only a way in which we can communicate and acknowledge that I celebrate you and I celebrate how you choose to celebrate.
Merry Christmas
The Eyes Have It
Expectation------A strong belief that something will happen. Thus--was my feeling as I approached the venue for a gathering of thought leaders on the broadly defined environmental and regenerative agriculture space. Anticipation --- another powerful feeling as I anticipated meeting these profound thinkers for the first time, to learn and importantly to feel. There is a certain amount of personal risk. The risk you would learn nothing, a risk you will come to know your own lack of knowledge, come away empty handed. One does not grow and expand without taking risk and therefore, with anticipation, expectation, and a willingness to take the risk the result would be a welcome expansion of knowledge, understanding, and a chance to encounter.
My good fortune….
I attended this gathering
I am just a bond guy spending a career riding interest rates from 20% to zero. Who knew reading a balance sheet would be so important when credit spreads were all the rage. So, with a bag of unrelated talent and limited knowledge I arrived at a magical venue---
The room was long and narrow, not the sort that encourages connectivity or for revealing oneself. The room softened as the organizer spoke of the goals for the next few days and encouraged the assemblage to release the guard rails. A woman who one would not expect to be forthcoming of a personal story was the keynote speaker. She seemed more accustomed to being protective, however, she set the tone by exposing the unique challenges of her life. Sharing the struggles of abuse and pain, she now stood as an example of how one can achieve more through openness as she lives a life of discovery, kindness, love, and accomplishment. Reason enough for the audience to go forward with open minds and hearts. Suddenly the room changed from protection to inclusion and love.
Family offices and venture capital could be viewed as only for the well-heeled rather than the well-worn. However, the sympathy and concern demonstrated by this group would dissuade even a cynic from that belief. Participants did not appear to be concerned with wealth, rather they were concerned for the environment, protection of the planet, and for those most vulnerable to the ravages of centuries of neglect in the name of progress.
The final event encapsulated all that had been learned and achieved during the sessions conducted by well thought individuals who had volunteered their time. In a way the ceremony, conducted by a talented coach, was a “shuffling of the cards”. Participants were asked, while standing in a beautiful garden, to move about and around each other while focusing their eyes on the eyes of another person as they pass by. On three different occasions we were asked to stop in front of the person to focus solely on that one human. The coach gave instructions, we were told to not lose focus but to stay connected to this person through our eyes. As time moved slowly the awkwardness of the moment gradually slipped away. We felt the sincerity and warmth of the person in front of us as our eyes revealed unspoken truths of lives and feelings.
The eyes are the most important sensory organ. This gathering provided the perfect canvas for the eye to absorb the fullness of the physical and spiritual. In a spiritual context the eye is the body’s open door to insight, clarity, vision, the ability to see beyond the physical realm, connection to the soul, truth and awareness. This final forum provided an exclamation point to our visual amazement and hi value knowledge accumulation.
It was this moment which created a further bridge to connectivity. While focused on your ephemeral partner, thinking of the secular world faded to the background. I have set aside my ulterior motives and need to achieve. What I see is the depth of your being, your eyes tell me of the pain you have suffered, the resilience of your spirit and the softness of your heart. You are a human and I only wish to connect in that way. I want nothing from you but your friendship. I want to know what you care about and what I can learn from you. You have experienced much and I am privileged to be allowed inside if even for this moment.
So many gifts were received over these three days, however it was these three people that gave of themselves and of their being that will remain in my heart.
Your eyes are a reflection of your spirit…….
Family Vacation
I apologize for not writing last week, I was on a wonderful family vacation …..
Someone was complaining about something, someone didn’t like where they were sitting, someone was looking at the other in a way they didn’t like, it was someone’s turn to walk the baby, the plane was late, the food order was wrong, there were no chairs left on the beach, the hotel charged for towels, a cappuccino was 12.00 (still 1.20 euro in Italy), the room did not face the ocean, someone forgot their swimsuit, underwear, tooth brush, favorite outfit and so it goes on the first day of a family vacation. Complaints, things forgotten, arguments and other such disappointing and negative things seem to be a part of family gatherings. Some family members make the event, some fail to be there. Yet….
On the way home while walking through the airport I asked my son “How do we hold on to the warmth and positive feelings we experienced on this holiday together?” Each day I surveyed the families on their vacation, the whinging and whining seem universal. However, so do the laughs, photo ops, smiles and hugs. As we concluded our holiday and proceeded home to our “normal” life we said how much enjoyment we received during these few days together. However, the first question was “how was your flight home?” Uneventful! – A five-hour delay!. Better to ask “how much fun did you have?” “What is the event you will treasure the most?” Why does tragedy force us to make the sacrifice to all come together – Why isn’t the family vacation as important?
I suppose it is an age thing as we deal with the eventual – less in front than in back – in spite of the challenges, arguments and other truly meaningless things that seem to take center stage the family vacation is a chance….
A chance to remember that we are related --- A chance to reaffirm our commitment to each other --- a chance to remember that as our family grows and others join and we in turn join theirs’s, we gather to reaffirm that this group, large or small, is our group. That circle of people shares a special place in our lives. Of course, we all have friends and work colleagues that we care about and spend time with, but, it is this family unit that occupies a special place in our hearts. The more we are present and available to this unit the more we feel loved and supported. When the inevitable crisis visits our family, we have a group that will be there to cry with us as we move through those eventual times of need. The family vacation is that unique opportunity to sit with one another to find out what we missed while we were dealing with our lives. That chance to remember that your sister or brother, father or mother is a unique person to you no matter the history. Remember it is just history. The family vacation is the present and the present is all we have.
I am sorry you had a rough trip home, but what I really care about is that you took the trouble to come. And while you are here, let’s talk about your life and mine and we can come to understand that I love you because you are just a little bit or a lot of me. I love me and I love you. I want to remember just how special our time together was this year and I am looking forward to another family vacation as long as they will come…..
“What a great trip we had ---- love you!!!” ---- “Mean it”
I Can’t Hear You
The plane touched down, in reality it was more like a jolt, but the flight did two things that make any flight perfect --- It took off and landed. We exited into the “F” terminal of United. This terminal is threadbare from decades of United flights. The air upon arrival in San Francisco was always slightly cooler and fresher than almost any city in the United system. Now, however, the dingy gray carpet is less welcoming while exiting the confinement of a regional jet. Things improve as you leave the well-worn confines of “F” terminal and walk through a newly constructed exit hallway to the now brightly appointed “E” terminal. In the old days this walk was a time of quiet reflection as you moved from restriction of the plane to the comfort of the familiar – your car. Messages waited for you as your colleagues had left the office for the evening and important messages could be retrieved on your message machine. Even more recently you might call into the office from your mobile phone, likely made privately from the comfort of your automobile.
“This is a really big deal, Justin, I want this closed by the time I arrive in Boston” The voice rang out throughout the hard surfaces of the newly build passage way. The conversation went on and on. It was loud and obnoxious. There was an urgent, arrogant quality to it as the speaker was taking the person on the other end to task over a transaction deemed important.
We no longer can be inconvenienced by holding a phone to our ear. The ear buds were invented to solve this very inconvenience. Preferring to ignore increased ear infections and the EMF waves coursing through your body at any given second, we accepted the ear buds as an acceptable risk of our digital universe. While I might be concerned for your health – trust me—I do not give a shit about the conversation you have so thoughtfully decided we need to hear as you yell into the air while wearing those ear buds.
One more unintended consequence of Apple’s need to develop yet another “cute” device was giving users permission to walk through public spaces as if they are on stage at a karaoke bar. Talking as if anyone wanted to hear you. Put a head set around your ears and record your singing and listen to how bad you sound. Coming to a turn in the terminal there is another man leaning against a counter, hands in his pocket, yelling his Tourette’s syndrome inspired one side conversation
These conveniences have managed to disturb yet another moment of public existence. I don’t care about your big deal, your problems at home, or your dating arrangements, especially with that arrogant unpleasant voice.
I miss the flip phone….
Belief vs. Reality
We imagine ourselves to be who we say we are. However, in reality who we are is a result of what we do and how we execute our beliefs. We have moments of self-reflection, but the reality of who we are can be contradictory to our beliefs.
Sports offer an example of this contradiction. Our loyalty to the teams we support clouds the truth of the reality. My belief is the 49ers are a Super Bowl team. I think they should have won The Super Bowl twice over the last few years. It is difficult for me to face the truth given my loyalty. The fact is the 49rts lost those recent Super Bowls. Contrary to my beliefs they are not a Super Bowl contender this year. They are not living up to what I believe is true. I hold hope and I talk about them as if the reality is not the present……
We talk about the United States in a similar fashion. We are the greatest nation on earth with freedoms that are unique. However, we are not the only nation with freedoms, many nations have freedoms and some have greater freedom. We believe we are number one as if that is a global truth. Believing we are number one across the landscape of measurements is not true. The reality is we are number one in two categories. On a per capita basis, we incarcerate more people than any other nation. We are also number one in defense spending. We spend more than the next twenty-six countries combined and twenty-five of them are allies. However, we are not even in the top ten of most important societal measurements. As an example, we are below the global average of literacy rates. We rank #13 in education, 54th for infant mortality, and lower in overall health care than most developed countries, and the list goes on…
We have a belief of who we are—a great Jeffersonian democracy, a nation of moral values, a welcoming nation of immigrants, an impartial judicial system where “no one is above the law.“ If the election has taught us anything it demonstrated who we really are --- a nation of white men able to look the other way as they elect a convicted, foul-mouth felon to the highest office as a representation of who we are as a nation. The glass ceiling for women remains firmly in place. The social network, long an achievement of the Great Society is threatened. Those that stand to be hurt the most by this administration’s policies stayed home and allowed white men to continue to rule. They convinced those of lesser circumstance that they too can be like those wealthy, white males as long as they stay in their place. Men continue to be afraid of women, and demand the subrogation of their rights. Sadly women continue to allow them to do so. Immigrants became the villains after we invited them to do our dirty work.
This election showed us who we really are, not who we profess to be. Our values, slogans and utterances of greatness and equality make for great reading but this election demonstrated otherwise.
As one says when disappointed with our team’s performance……
Wait ‘til next year!?
Confused
Some technicalities… My blog posts must be submitted to my platform by Tuesday so they can be sent out Wednesday at noon Eastern and 9:00am Western. I became distracted by watching the results of the United States election and became further confused as to what people were thinking when they went to vote and convinced they were not —— Thinking.
I will be back on schedule next week —-
Walking
I grew up in Los Angeles --- a driving city ---- you drive around the block to visit friends. However, I am learning to walk more these days as the fitness crew says walking has the same effect as running --- hate running…
Roma, like many cities in Italia. is a walking city. There are practical reasons for this. Besides being a living museum, with value on every corner, the subway system is limited, since digging in an ancient city means bumping into things that are worth preserving, and cars — forget about it.. As I walk around Roma, Milano, and Venezia I have become more observant of how people walk. There is a difference in their gait, of course, but I started to observe the attitude one carries when walking in a crowded space.
There is the “hit-me-I-need-the -money style. This person believes road signage is for cars or someone else. No matter the circumstances they are going to walk where they want while staring down a four-thousand-pound vehicle as if that is going to have a positive outcome. The opposite would be the timid walker glancing furtively everywhere --- sure that either scooter, bike, car, or another motorized object is coming for them. Women walk in many ways. There is the I am a runway model and you may watch me but no eye contact. The strutter - demonstrating that those heels are no different than your tennis shoes. Woman have the most varied looks walking on their own. I observe women to be command walkers meaning that they are in command and do not under any circumstances bother me because I will mess you up. The fast walker racing to the next most important event. The pretty walker, the athletic walker, and my favorite – the oblivious walker.
Men have walking styles but not so varied and not so much fun to watch. There are strutters, of course, but many walk with an arrogance and style that challenges others to infringe on their personal space. The distracted walker makes sure you sense the importance of his cell phone call – probably ordering a pumpkin spice something. The competitor – no matter how many people are on this sidewalk he will be the winner.
Taking note of how people walk will tell you a lot about their availability to interact, their willingness to be authentic, or the success of their day. There is a defensiveness about most walkers with the exception of couples, especially happy ones. Hand in hand, arm in arm they seem to walk in a way that shields them from the bullies of the pathway.
When it comes to walking through life, love has strength beyond mere compatibility. If it doesn’t move mountains then maybe you will accept that it moves people ---- let’s face it on a crowded sidewalk that is hi- value.
You carry your day and your attitude in the way you walk. Throw your shoulders back, lift up your gaze and see what success comes your way. ---- don’t forget we see you coming and if you are coming with a positive vision we will mirror that image.
I have to go now – my Uber is here….