Loser??????

Over the holiday weekend I planned to have dinner with a pal of mine at a newish (for me) Italian restaurant in SF.  He fell ill with a stomach bug.  I decided to go on my own as many restaurants now have a policy of charging your credit card if you cancel within 24 hours.  I could debate about that, but, suffice it to say I find it amazing that with all the economic challenges facing normal people it is still hard to get a reservation.  So, I took myself to dinner.

I arrived on the early side as I have grown comfortable eating with the blue-rinse set.  The hostess walked me to the bar-seating by the window, showing me the exact seat which, ironically, I had sat twice before.  There was one other gentleman eating at the bar.  A few minutes later the hostess sat another single gentleman two seat over from my left.  By the time I was delivered my very exciting mocktail an additional single gentleman was shown a seat next to me and my immediate thought was ….

Four losers siting at a hot Italian restaurant on a holiday weekend…

I finished my meal and left, concluding an early evening.  I was baby-sitting my daughter’s dog.  I was doing the responsible thing to care for my temporary friend.  However, I was feeling a bit sorry for myself maybe a bit lonely. 

Being more thoughtful, the circumstance reminded me of a Chinese fable known as “The old Man Who Lost His Horse”. In very short form the story is about circumstances that appear negative but then something happens and just as suddenly the circumstances turn positive.  The man’s horse runs away – he is consoled for his loss, but then the horse returns with another horse.  His son rides the new horse but falls off and breaks his leg. He is consoled by his neighbors for his misfortune, but a war breaks out and his son is spared because he is injured and so on the story goes.  The old man remains calm, humble, and open to whatever comes. 

I was consoling myself over my single dinner yet I know many mothers who would love a chance to have a nice meal on their own just to have a chance to think clearly about their life. I had to get home to feed the dog and take it outside to go to the bathroom but then he slept quietly at the foot of the bed, keeping me company.  Our immediate circumstances are most often framed in the negative.  Our modest inconveniences rest heavy on our minds when in comparison with the majority of people those inconveniences would be welcomed.

Instead of thinking loser, I was in reality the winner.  A good meal, a quiet moment to think of how fortunate I am and to reflect on how the universe had sent me a warm furry friend who only wanted a gentle hand to rest on his head.

Life is full of ups and downs.  Misfortune often leads to opportunity; I need to remind myself that losing is like winning --- TEMPORARY….