Expectation vs. Presumption

I wrote last week about the challenges of expectation and how setting expectations is not without peril for the person setting those expectations for a client or personal relationship. The counterpoint to expectation is the presumption. I presume that I will be able to create a lovely living space out of the small home I purchased. I also presume that my interior decorator will create a beautiful living space that will not only fit my needs but will create the requisite beauty that will be admired by friends and family. The problem with presumption is that you are assuming that the outcome will fit your parameters and your thought process. But not all people think like you!! Hard to imagine but that is the truth. I imagined that my family would visit my ranch every month —- the issue with that presumption is that I failed to take into account that my daughter’s family had many agendas that might not fit mine. After all I did not have children competing in tennis tournaments or had homework that needed to be finished for the next week’s school. The issue with presumption is that it is all about you. The presumption fails to take into account the other person. Presumption is an exercise without empathy. I am presuming that what I want is what everyone else would want . After all it is my good idea. Obviously people have their own agenda and their own expectations and ultimately their presumption as to the outcome.. So if my decorator and I have the same presumption , the outcome will be beautiful and harmonious. But if we fail to converse and discuss, then my presumption will not match up and her expectations will be challenged and. As disappointed as we may be over unmet expectations, it is unexamined presumptions that can direct us down a path of failure and disappointment.

Relationships require careful consideration of both expectations and presumptions.

Tread lightly my friend…