Vulnerable
I had a brief hick-up with the platform that supports this blog. The blog did not reach my readers at the usual time. I wrote last week about an absurd reality ---- it now costs money to talk to a real person. Such a treasured experience now has a price, but talking to a robot or AI is free--- or is it.
Alas, another costly tool that separates us. I started to think about the fragility of friendships. I know when I was going to school, I was sure that my friends would be my friends forever. Those friendships dwindled to a precious few and then they disappeared altogether. However, I knew the friends I saw every day at work would now be my friends forever. As the years flew by and working in an office became more challenging or nonexistent those friendship dwindled. I suppose that given time they will go the way of my school friends -- drifting into the sunset of in-person office work.
My daughter was born three houses from her best friend. And, Surprise, they are still best friends. How is it that some friendships stand the test of time and others fade with its passage?
Some run into the headwinds of competition, others flirt with convenience, some are cleverly strategic and some coincidentally are born of proximity.
Friendships can be illusory, but, just as in any other relationship, they take a lot of consistent work. However, a key component often overlooked is one’s willingness to be vulnerable. Rather than building a relationship with the guard rails of strategy, jealousy or manipulation, one might allow themselves to be vulnerable. It is vulnerability that allows us to be open to mistakes and the strength building of forgiveness. Best not to be too strategic in building a friendship or a relationship but to be present, available and vulnerable.
This “work in progress model” is all the more difficult when we are separated by machine distance. Building relationships in this way is the best argument for in-office work. The ability to forgive and rebuild is easier in person. Allowing oneself to be vulnerable opens the door to those around us to see that our fallibility is only a demonstration of our humanity which in turn is warm and welcoming, not cold and calculating.
-----Just musing about the treasure that people hold when they have someone who is “my best friend….”