Rule Followers

Lago di Garda

The largest lake in Italy—1100 feet deep and covers 142 square miles. Situated between Venezia and Milano.  Towards the end of WWII Benito Mussolini and his family lived at the Grand Hotel Feltrinelli for 600 days in Gargano on the shores of Lago di Garda.  He was not shot there, rather he was shot near Largo di Como and then hung in the streets of Milano. I was there under more pleasant circumstances…

As I sat in the sauna of the fabulous LeFay Spa above Lago di Garda, I was not thinking of Benito but how fortunate I was to be enjoying this beautiful part of the world…. until

There are many things I like about Italy, but what I especially like is their loose relationship with rules and regulations ---as my favorite pirate Barbossa said “The Code is more what you’d call “guidelines” than actual rules.”  I like this attitude and have tried to emulate it where appropriate.  My visit to the sauna, in my opinion, is just such a place for rules to take a back seat.

However, there are other people in the world who have a far stricter interpretation of rules.  They not only believe in a stricter interpretation but believe that it is their job to make sure that others follow the rules!  I don’t want to make this a cultural thing or goodness to be profiling…  but I think people from the North of Europe are more prone to fit into this category of rule following. Regardless of culture, you have run into or witnessed those self-appointed rule police.

As I sat in solitude experiencing the intense heat of this spectacular sauna, lost in my thoughts of life and love, the door opened……two things exploded my solace

1.    I believe there comes a time in a grown man’s life that no matter how well or poorly endowed you are, you should keep that exposed part under wraps, solely for the viewing pleasure for that person closest to you. The gentleman entering felt it important that all bystanders should be aware of his endowment or lack there of.  At his age those days of unnecessary exposure are over and not improving. There is a reason sculptors use models in their 20’s not 70’s.

2.    In his Saxon accent – “you are not supposed to wear swimming garments in the sauna, there is a sign right here” as he pointed to a sign filled with warnings about the heat.

I am a surfer from Southern California and I am convinced that board shorts are always appropriate.  The Beach Boys didn’t write songs, loved the world over, about following rules, especially about what to wear or not wear in a sauna. But they did write about surfing attire.

I chose to ignore this unnecessary intrusion, although GFY did come to mind.  Instead, I employed my favorite trick and pretended that my miracle ear was not functioning.  I lasted another ten minutes in the heat and then exited without exposing my quite frankly better-looking body parts under wraps.

The Pirate Barbossa and the Italians believe rules are more like guidelines….