Serendipity or Divine Alignment

I wrote a book titled Connectability.  The premise of the book is a reminder of the value of human-centered relationship building.  It is not anti-digital, rather a reminiscence of the communities we occupy.   Building secure, deep, valued relationships are centered around our ability to use those qualities that are uniquely human.

Chapter 8 of the book is titled Generosity. – the following is a story emanating from that chapter.

I was at home feeling a little lonely.  I decided the best cure was to take myself to dinner at a small Italian restaurant in the little town of Sausalito.  Pizzeria Sandrino is owned by husband and wife---- Monica and Alessandro.  They are my good friends.  Going to their restaurant is like going to a friend’s house.  They have created this atmosphere.  I believe that most of their clients feel as I do --- this is a friend’s home that happens to serve a wonderful Italian meal.  I referenced them in the book as an example of kindness and generosity. Their story is a story of benevolence regardless of someone’s economic circumstance.  The story involves a homeless gentleman who lives in our community and their generosity towards him.  When he visits their restaurant, he is treated as a guest.  Even when others more fortunate think his table should be theirs’s Alessandro and Monica treat this gentleman respectfully.  The table is his until he has completed his stay.

On this evening, when I was beating myself up over some unnecessary issue, I sought refuge in my friend’s restaurant.  Unfortunately, Alessandro was not there but his team ran the evening seamlessly.  They were crowded, so I took a seat at the hi-top near the cash register.  This is a very small restaurant.  I ordered my dinner and a glass of Chianti and enjoyed my own company.  I noticed a gentleman approach the cash register; he was collecting a glass of wine.  He was dressed roughly but not desperately, meaning he could have been someone of means in disguise.  As I was taking a sip of my Chianti, he turned to face me and said, “Fredric?” My mind went into rolodex mode as I searched the data bank for his name -- how do I know this man?  Before I could find the information, he said “I am Kyle. I am the homeless man you wrote about in your book” He continued, “I wanted to thank you for writing about Alessandro and me.” “I have your book, Dennis gave it to me” At that very moment Dennis and his wife Kate (owners of Karl the store) walked into the restaurant and Dennis turned to me “I see you have met Kyle”. We all stood there and chatted as if we were at a cocktail party.  Each sharing a bit about this developing story.  I asked Kyle where he was from and how long he had been on the west coast.  We talked about the book and the importance of our community and how we are now connected.  Kyle excused himself to return to his table.  Dennis and Kate had already excused themselves.  I sat alone somewhat bemused but emotionally fulfilled that this incredible scene had just played out.  As I left the restaurant I passed by Kyle, wished him a good night and thanked him for introducing himself —— there he was sitting at a table with his dinner, glass of wine, and a copy of my book.

Selfishly my book has been more than an accomplishment, it has been a gift.   It has strengthened existing relationships and developed new ones.  It has created circumstances that underscore the principles and reflections of its chapters.  I am seeking audiences to speak to about the rewards received when we focus on building relationships. The commercial aspect is indeed important and quantifiable, but the true dividends are the relationships.  This story is a perfect example of the brilliance of human connection.  Our digital conveniences are indeed handy, but they could never bring this group together.  The writer, the shop keeper, the restaurateur, and the man without shelter all conversing over a glass of wine and a book. Our circumstances are different and our condition is ever-changing.  We all have something to gain and to give.  If we wish to build relationships, we must engage in conversation and connection.  If we judge and assume we will limit ourselves to the minimum of what life can present.  Kyle isn’t a homeless man he is a human without shelter.  He is articulate, has feelings, successes, and failures.  He has courage to be part of a community that might feel less welcoming ----- but not everyone.    One’s life can be richer if open to discovery

Mistakenly, one can judge a relationship as either closed or assumed to be of limited value.  This is a story of the importance of understanding, connection, and receptivity.  Allowing people in will bring its own reward, however, the mystery is you don’t know the reward unless you take the risk

----Isn’t that always the way??