Schadenfreude: shaa-duhn-froy-duh
The sense of enjoyment upon hearing the problems of others. “Jeremy had a feeling of schadenfreude when his ex-wife’s second marriage failed.”
My daughter mentioned this word to me the other day. I struggled to admit that I did not know the word; its definition, nor how to use it.
Schaden damage + Freude joy
Donald Trump’s coronavirus infection draws international sympathy and a degree of schadenfreude
When we first discussed it, I was amused as I thought about all the times, I have felt a sense of schadenfreude. When you experience failure and then that same failure is experienced by another you have a sense of pleasure at the failure but it also validates your own miscue. It proves that whatever you were doing had a real degree of difficulty and that failing was not so bad because others were also struggling.
The Trump example is something that many of us experienced as we fantasized about his failure and potential fall from grace. It is or was hard to hope for the worst in the middle of a pandemic and a failing economy just to smile at his failure. That is the catch 22. Wishing for his failure meant others had to experience the same. Schadenfreude wrested on the famous is a great sport as they have the bandwidth to sustain transitory failure. Wishing the same on a more common figure has consequences that are super unfortunate and potentially debilitating.
If I fail and now hope that you also fail, we have not advanced either cause. Schadenfreude is not exactly wishing for failure rather it is the enjoyment of failure. Taking pleasure in someone else’s misfortune is karmically bad.
Our society has learned to welcome the idea of joy through failure. The most benign is wishing for failure or gaining pleasure if the other person’s athletic team loses... Where does this put me when I wish that Joe Biden would succeed but I smile at Mitch McConnel’s failure. Defining success in terms of winners and losers has not been a successful way of advancing society as a whole. If we can only gain pleasure through the loss of another, this will eventually have a negative outcome for society. It is a second cousin to jealousy and that is a sad waste of time. To be jealous gives power to that person with whom you are jealous. That energy focus takes away from your ability to find your path or your achievement. Likewise, schadenfreude focuses on the joy of someone else’s failure. It doesn’t improve your life in any way. Conversely, it focuses your energy on failure and then finding joy in that failure. This sucks the air out of the positive energy to excel and achieve. If I am recognizing and celebrating the failure of one individual over another, I am using up time that could otherwise be constructively applied.
Although a humorous turn of phrase, schadenfreude represents an endemic problem with our society. If I am a Republican, I am looking for Democrats to fail --- schadenfreude. If I am a celebrity watcher, I am waiting for Kim K to declare bankruptcy --- If I am a Seattle Seahawks fan, I am waiting for the 49ers quarterback to be injured ---on and on ---the idea that we can get joy out of a failure is at the core of many of our issues. I am not trying to make the world better I am waiting for the other country to fail so I can get pleasure out of their missteps.
A more positive way to look at things requires empathy. I want the US to succeed and positively contribute to the world but I also want China to succeed as well. There are seven, about to be nine billion people in the world and most of them need help. I cannot receive joy because of their failures. Wishing for my competitor to fall on their faces might make me smile but it hurts so many other people. I have a lot of friends who have made money and have had successful careers. I cannot receive joy out of their failure or demise. What I want for them is to make the world better. I want them to receive joy not from failure but from success... Of course, I understand Schadenfreude because I am human and a failure where I also failed might make me smile but it has not benefitted either of us. We would have been better off solving the problem and thus improving both of our lives and those around us.
Ok, ok, I will continue to have a feeling of schadenfreude at “Moscow Mitch’s” failures —— ———- I am not that kind….