New Year

I like my coffee ritual.  It is not so much about the coffee, although I prefer a milder Italian roast versus the “burned” coffee at Starbucks. I truly enjoy the relationship ritual built over time with the people working a coffee establishment.   I buy a coffee at the beginning of my day and receive a warm greeting and a positive outlook. This small group of people make my morning an event worth waking up for.  If you are in Italy you can develop a similar relationship provided you demonstrate some consistency and openness during your time in any Italian city. 

As we approach the end of another year and begin to consider the events that may come to pass in the ensuing one, the ritual for the end of the year is about resolutions or promises we make to ourselves.  A rather narcissistic approach to events yet revealed.

On New Year’s Eve morning I was speaking with one of my good friends at my usual coffee spot.  We were commenting on the speed with which this current year passed.  As we inevitably consider the growing reality that there is less time in front of us than in back, the years will pass with increasing speed.  A deeper sense of the morning struck me as I felt a certain melancholy amongst my barista friends.

Rather than a New Year’s resolution that will be “me” oriented, I will pay more attention to the people who fill my day.  The cursory sense of friendship with people that we interact with belies the deeper issues of their lives.  I know so little of the lives of these friends as we sum up our day with the usual salutation and benign response.

I think this year rather than lose weight, stop drinking or exercise more I’ll start paying closer attention to the people around me who share a regular part of my life’s ritual but whose window to their life is covered by the curtain of convenience they afford me.

A resolution, if you will, to give rather than receive.

Happy New Year