“Don’t be sad it’s over…”
…Be happy cause it happened.”
Ok, all you “glass half empty people” I get it. We always want to appreciate the benefits of the present, especially when the present is a fabulous trip with family. Now some families might not be excited about a trip together, but the week I spent with my family was amazing. Then it was followed by an additional week with ones fidanzata. My family trip for Thanksgiving was beyond expectation. This family has a long history surrounding Thanksgiving as we have spent all previous Thanksgivings at the same place in California. But as the prices went up their hospitality offering went down, so my daughter and I decided Italy was the perfect replacement. The venue was spectacular and Tuscany is lovely. However that is not what made this trip wonderful. Like many families we had not been together for two years and now in this incredible setting, we were all together. The chance to sit next to a different family member every night; the “no pressure” touring each day; the one-on-one moments were all part of the magic that made this trip special. Spending a week with my grandchildren gave me the unique opportunity to connect and form real friendships. There was no pressure to fill the day with explorations. If you wanted to go you could, if you wanted to be different —- no judgement. However, we all came together for breakfast and dinner and that experience was special. Our individual driving experiences in Italy — not paying the toll, taking the wrong turn, getting lost in the restricted zone. These and others allowed me to depend on my sons to be the best drivers so I could fall asleep in the passenger seat pretending to be helpful. This trip was packed with great stories that we can retell over and over.
I am happy it happened but let’s get real I AM SAD! There!!! I said it. As my sons, daughters, grandchildren and nieces all departed by train and plane it was downright sad. A whole new list of unknowns and anxieties suddenly appeared as the reality of work and real life projects were no longer on the distant horizon. Parting is just a downright sad part of the experience. All the fun activities that had occupied our time are concluded and, well, it is just sad. Better to acknowledge than to pretend the emotion doesn’t exist. Should I feel guilty that I am not appreciating the “happy it happened” part and now focused on the “sad it’s over’? Sad gets to have it’s time and respect. So lets embrace the fact that leaving family members behind is a sad part of life. Granted this is not a permanent good-bye as we will see each other soon; however, I think it is important to recognize the sadness of the end of something special. I will miss the casual conversation; those moments of serious reflection and opportunities to seek advice from the people you love and respect. There was so much more to this gathering than lovely surroundings. It was the opportunity to reestablish the value of family. The love and respect we have for each other was on display at every moment as we experienced it in real time. No zoom call needed as we were all in the same room. I will miss the wonder of being present. Not just emotionally present but physically. Rather than telling my daughter not to cry I should seize the opportunity to realize the conclusion of this experience deserves it’s due. The moment was full of wonder yet there will be others and those will be special in their own way but this one has ended and it does deserve a little sadness.
I need a kleenex…..