Confidence

Lost along the way-----it should be our goal as adults to make sure they never lose it….

The doors to the elevator were set back from the hallway walls.  They were framed with metal that was shining with a copper glow.  The doors were mirrors reflecting this soft golden light.

He had stepped into this framed doorway studying himself in the reflection.  If someone was exiting the elevator, he would be blocking their exit.  He was fascinated with the reflection.    The doors opened and he stepped into the elevator as did I. He was about 10 or 11 with a full set of braces which I suspect was the object of his observation.

Most boys this age finding themselves in a confined space with an older adult would stand there in silence hoping the experience would end as soon as possible.  This was not to be the case as the potentially uncomfortable silence was broken with….“What are you doing today?” he asked with an assertiveness and confidence as if we had known each other for years or perhaps I was part of the family.  Admittedly I was taken aback but rather than keeping my aloof adultness, his sincere interest in my future plans gave me permission to respond equally.  I gave him the list of things I had planned for the day.  “That sounds like a nice day” he assured me.  “What are your plans?” I asked in response.  “I am going to the football game!” he said with a confidence and excitement as if he had won the lottery and owned the team (Definition: ‘football” in this case is soccer as this elevator was in London.) At this point the elevator arrived and the doors opened which sadly ended our brief encounter.  In his excitement the young man literally flew out of the elevator on his way to the football game and into a day which he will remember always.

Scene II

A sofa large enough to fit four or five adults – a coffee table – two arm chairs on either end.  There were four occupants in this setting.  The occupants were four adult men (including myself). These four men were a diverse cultural representation.  Picture two men on one corner and two other men on the opposite corner with a wide-open space of brown leather sofa – empty.  She looked like a blond Shirley Temple with a pretty white dress.  The one she probably wore at Easter.  She walked with authority and confidence.  She walked around my chair and positioned herself in the middle of the empty space of the sofa and in one “Simone Biles” move bounced onto the sofa landing in a perfect “L” with her legs positions flat and extended straight. 

She looked at me with a sweet smile as if to say “I guess you don’t know who I am----I belong here!” “You should all feel fortunate that I have joined you.” 

I hope she never feels otherwise.

They were happy, self-assured, and overall confident that they were exactly where they were supposed to be and that those around them should feel fortunate to be in their company.  They exuded confidence and self-assuredness.  They were greeting the day as if it were the best day of their lives.  We should not ever let them feel otherwise.

When did we start to judge our day before it even began? Why can’t we greet each day as if it will behold yet another exciting adventure?  I dare say my young friend in the elevator greats his day with renewed enthusiasm every day. The little blond Shirley Temple only knows she can do anything she wants --- when she wants to.  As adults we would do our children a great service if we allowed them to always believe that they can sit anywhere they like and converse with anyone they felt worthy of their interaction. Why do we insist on setting limits on our young children?  We should endeavor to encourage them to approach each day as a limitless adventure for which they are fully capable.  If we could maintain that sense of limitless accomplishment think how amazing our next generation of leaders could be.

Instead, we continue to create fear and doubt, intent on proving to our children that we have limits

Our children should approach life as limitless .Their ability to achieve equally resolute. Our gift of restraint is not a gift at all.

 So, what are you doing today?