Accumulation
The urge to accumulate…
I was sitting in a chair that I had purchased for my home 15 years ago. I was looking at a sofa that I had purchased for an apartment in New York 20 years ago. Above the sofa was a painting my parents had purchased from a painter friend probably 50 years ago. On the sofa was a blanket my great grandmother crocheted 100 years ago and next to it is a cashmere blanket my very close friend gave to me 5 years ago. Those and so many other things I have accumulated over my lifetime.
I had a friend of mine pass on to the other side this week and another three weeks before. . I only knew David Crosby in the later years of his incredible life. The impact for me was just as powerful. The loss of our friends and relatives is mitigated by the memories we share. Yet we are not in control as to when we are required to reach for those memories to keep them close to us. David and I did not share music although I was always appreciative of his artistry. We shared a love of human interaction and good wine. Dinners at my home were always special with deep conversation fueled by good food, wine and respect. We came from such different backgrounds but our mutual empathy was the foundation of friendship. I was fortunate to know him in a different context than his very famous life. I will miss him.and our intellectual engagement.
I'm wondering if the urge to accumulate things is our subconscious way of demonstrating that we have some control over things that we love. The need to believe we have the control of when we let go. The people we love pass on in their time not ours. We have no control although we keep them in our hearts through the memories we share. Their physicality has gone but they remain in our hearts and minds. Our urge to collect, to hold onto things that we have been given or purchased is our way of exerting control over what we allow to leave our lives. We dispose of “things” at a time of our choosing. It fills that belief that we have control over such things. Our things we wish to keep and that which we wish to relinquish control over is the illusion of control over a life that in reality we have no control over.
I don't really know ——- just a thought as I reflect on my friend.