A Visit to The Bakery
I took the phone call in the parking lot of a little French bakery. We had been playing phone tag for a week after the passing of our dear friend. At one point in our friendship, we talked every day and shared most things happening in our lives. Then something happened and we stopped communicating. Our mutual friend’s passing has reversed that trend. We both felt that our dear friend had reminded us of the good fortune we both had in living part of our lives in the same beautiful place. We talked about our mutual friends and the joyous times we experienced. I miss my friends and I miss that part of my life. I don’t think I truly understood that until now. From “the other side”, our friend brought our memories to the forefront. Those memories were not to be denied or forgotten. I have one more thing I can thank him for.
Not to be cliché but life is a circle. Those experiences that come to us seem to be unique. For sure they are unique to us and how we receive them is treasured by us alone. Yet life has a certain repetitive nature and familiarity.
As I sat in the car talking to my rediscovered friend, I watched a small SUV pull into a parking space directly in front of me. I watched as the process of moving a family from one space to the next unfolded. The dad was in the passenger seat and popped out of the car to retrieve his daughter who I think is about 5/6. A great age, especially for little girls as they are more independent than their male counterparts. A foreshadowing for a lifetime of being more mature and level headed. Honestly, we need more women in leadership roles. Men have had it long enough. I mean look at the shit show they have created.
I digress…
Dad gets the little girl out of the care and opens the trunk. Now the real work begins. Mom who was driving gets out and begins to unbuckle the baby. This is not a one clip process as there is a lot of adjusting and preparing to lift the baby out of the car seat. In the meantime, dad is removing the $1000 stroller from the trunk while hanging on to the 5-year-old who is ready to go to the café. Once the stroller is assembled there is more adjusting, attaching and loading up the stroller with all sorts of paraphernalia. The mom is still struggling to get the baby from car to the stroller. Once he unfolds the stroller (mission accomplished) the father leaves the scene with the 5-year-old to “get in line”. In other words, he is free of any further assemblage necessary for the baby. For the next 10 minutes mom is loading up the stroller; just in order to join the line. She accomplishes this with one hand as the other is holding the baby. I forget just how difficult it is to get from the car to the store with infants and small children. There is no real purpose for this description other than to point out that parenting is difficult. It is rewarding for sure. However, even the simplest of tasks are challenging. It took two people 20 minutes to get from their car to the bakery to order a coffee. After that brief moment they have to get up and load it all back again. Think about that the next time you cruise by to pick up your cappuccino.
But wait, don’t forget. There is the sheer beauty of welcoming a new born into the world. My eldest son and his partner welcomed a beautiful baby boy over the weekend. It was not without complication but the end result was perfect. It is truly a miracle that we flawed humans can and do produce these flawless creatures that are so beautiful. It is the incredible continuum of life. In the same week as I said good bye to my good friend, I was celebrating and welcoming a new life. The entire process is a miracle in so many ways. It is these moments that we must strive to focus on and embrace because there are so many little problems that will become outsized in their importance. Guaranteed my son will be having a drink with his buddies and they will be talking about their lives as pack mules. Loaded up with the amazing array of “stuff” that these 8 lbs. humans require on a minute-to-minute basis. However, he will soon forget the drink and the complaints because he will never forget the journey he and his wife are embarking upon. A blessed event full of love.
The emotional adjustment we go through from sad to melancholy to the joy of welcoming a beautiful infant into the world is an amazing ride. Creating the opportunity to experience the marvelous world of parenting and the unimaginable rewards that we as parents will receive. The opportunity to smile, laugh, cry and love beyond our imagination and then…...
…then we load them into the SUV and repeat….