My Parent’s Child

I had lunch with a friend a couple of days ago.  We have known each other for many years.  We are worlds apart in our political thinking, yet we have remained friends.  During the lunch he mentioned how concerned he was over the shootings occurring across the country.  This was particularly poignant as this was the day of the FedEx shooting in Indianapolis.  What did I attribute this challenging breakdown in our civil society, he asked…?

 By most standards I think my parents would be considered “strict” as parents.  They were politically conservative but socially inclusive.  They were consistent, loyal and honest, not only to their children, family, business associates, and those that performed services; but to their religious and political beliefs.  Surely there were things about my parents that I did not like growing up and I promised I would conduct myself differently.  True to that, I am a social liberal, have lived in multiple houses, in multiple cities and have had multiple marriages.  However, I am still my parent’s child and at the core I am very much like them.  I am loyal to the people around me and to the people that have helped me.  I am a dedicated father and have made sure my children were well educated (of particular importance to my father).  I believe in staying consistently connected with family, I am a stalwart supporter of my children’s life quests and generous to those around me and to those in need.  All of these characteristics were learned behavior from my parents who were my first leaders.

 As humans we are wired to seek leadership and to emulate those that are in leadership positions.  Those that are not as fortunate as I was to have a core value system installed by parents will seek leadership elsewhere.

Elected officials are the leaders that appear to have the most influence.  These elected officials, like my parents, are in a position of leadership.  Their core value system is consistently on display.  Their constituency watches and emulates their behavior.   We are stuck in our current predicament because those leaders are not leading.  Instead, they are in a continual rinse cycle of name calling, mistruths and most important, the process of making up stories to fit their narrative. What is lacking in the country is appropriate governance.  Representatives and senators are too busy protecting their jobs and developing the story line that supports their falsehoods.  

 Our past and current leaders have given us, as a culture, the green light to disrespect, personally criticize and demean those we did not agree with.  Tragically the current government is attempting to govern and move the ball down the field.  They will fail not because of flawed ideas but because other leaders will seek to discredit rather than enhance governance.

There are voices seeking bipartisan (involving the agreement of two political parties that usually oppose each other’s policies) support, but what we need is collaboration. (the action of working with someone to produce or create something).

To my friend I said, the breakdown in our society is the lack of cooperative leadership seeking to collaborate to find solutions to our societal problems.  We have a component of leadership in this country that is devoid of core values and insists on making up the story to fit the failures of their leadership.  Until we regain and follow a set of shared values the shooting will never stop.

My parents are watching…...