LOST

 I flew from Denver to San Francisco on Monday evening.  I was limping along through the airport due to a knee issue.  My usual pace through an airport is warp speed as I have been in many.  Given my slower pace I was paying more attention to my surroundings and the people moving through the airport.  I was focused on those that were clearly unaccustomed to the shit show that is known as Denver international.  Most notably the world of United Airlines.  You know “the friendly skies”??? Wow!!! Talk about false advertising.  I was particularly struck by the “deer in the headlights” look people have on their faces when confronted with the unfamiliar.  The whirlwind of signs; warnings, voice announcements; lights; retail shops; noise and well just a shit show of sounds and distractions.  I felt a degree of empathy as I had just been in an unfamiliar hospital full of hallways, elevators, left and right turns and directions that had been rattled off at the speed of the indemnification voice for menthol e-cigarettes.  The world of the unknown is just not made for the slow consumption of information.  Fortunately, I had my hospital advocate.  My advice!! never go to the hospital alone.   I have two sons and both times I was in a hospital they have been with me.  That kind of support makes you appear to be knowledgeable.  If I had ferreted through this morass alone, I would have had that very same look as the lost people of the airport.  Totally confused as to whether they were departing or arriving.  This lost wave does not end when you are in the plane.  You are literally sardines crammed in the smallest can possible.  The airlines have rewarded the tax payer bailout with fewer flights on smaller planes so they can move as many people as uncomfortably as possible.  I am 6’2” and sitting rigidly in my seat there was zero clearance between my damaged knee and the seat back in front of me.  I sat that way for 2.5 hours enjoying this super spreader event.  No wonder the gentleman boarding in front of me could not find his seat.  Poorly marked, impossible to move and being  aware of people behind you— now try to find your seat.  Anxiety and claustrophobia take over and your disoriented self has no sense of direction let alone enough focus to find that seat.  The best example of lost was after we landed.  I love this particular solution to baggage storage.  The flight attendant took an older couple’s bags and put them above seat 20A and then escorted them to their seats in 16A.  Now that is all well and good but what happens when the masses of cooped up, cramped people want OFF this plane.  The flight attendants were nowhere to be seen but a woman took over the problem.  The elderly couple could not recognize their bags in the overhead compartments with lines of identical looking bags.  She asked me to hold the line while these lost souls took their time to locate their bags.  It was a successful conclusion.

What does it say about us and the companies that serve us under the guise of service and the friendly skies?  Planes and airports are not built for people, they are built for companies trying to squeeze every bit of efficiency out of an inefficient model.  All of this leaves the unfamiliar wandering through the throngs of people looking dazed and lost. Those of us not otherwise hobbled by injury, race by the unsuspecting in a dazed cloud of confusion hoping for an advocate to point them in the right direction.

Now was that down the hall – left right left or right right left????