Happy Birthday

This week, I was going to write about the disaster that is the Pac–12 Conference, but I will wait until next week.

 Yesterday was my birthday. I have a love/hate relationship with my birthday.  I am happy they show up because the alternative doesn’t seem like much fun.  I also have this “thing” about age which I blame on my mother .  When she crossed over, we thought she was 91. Turns out she was 96.  Age is a sad judgmental moniker that is applied to all aspects of our society. It allows us to form instant opinions about people before we even engage in conversation.  An opinion on a person based on their age is a narrow-minded approach to developing and building a relationship.   

 However….

I digress as I don’t want to write about that either.

 On my birthday I was not expecting nor required gifts, but I did want to be acknowledged.  I must admit I had a mental list of people I thought I would hear from.  I also had a name or two that I wished I would hear from.  Not that I was expecting but if received, it would somehow allow me to hope they were thinking of me.  Admittedly a highly ego-driven hope. 

 However….

As the day progressed, I received many sincere wishes. I realized I was giving too much energy to those who did not care to acknowledge my birthday.  My focus and energy should appropriately be on those that had.  It was right in front of me as people wrote the simplest and thoughtfully elegant birthday remembrances.  As I wrote last week, the present is a more fruitful place to focus one’s attention. 

 I am not sure if it was an existential moment but it was a realization that I was receiving so much from so many while looking for something that was not coming.  My glass was filling and I was focused on the empty part.   I was thinking of what I didn’t have and ignoring the immense amount of love and caring I had.    I was focused on being needed while receiving messages that I was desired.  Profoundly I was receiving the greatest gifts.   It was in the present that I was being honored, not in a material way, but in a present and available way.  Just that simple message of best wishes and hope for a wonderful day was all the birthday I needed.  When I pivoted to the present and the thoughtfulness of those who cared….

I had a really good birthday……..thank you

 ……Love, Fred