Family Vacation
I apologize for not writing last week, I was on a wonderful family vacation …..
Someone was complaining about something, someone didn’t like where they were sitting, someone was looking at the other in a way they didn’t like, it was someone’s turn to walk the baby, the plane was late, the food order was wrong, there were no chairs left on the beach, the hotel charged for towels, a cappuccino was 12.00 (still 1.20 euro in Italy), the room did not face the ocean, someone forgot their swimsuit, underwear, tooth brush, favorite outfit and so it goes on the first day of a family vacation. Complaints, things forgotten, arguments and other such disappointing and negative things seem to be a part of family gatherings. Some family members make the event, some fail to be there. Yet….
On the way home while walking through the airport I asked my son “How do we hold on to the warmth and positive feelings we experienced on this holiday together?” Each day I surveyed the families on their vacation, the whinging and whining seem universal. However, so do the laughs, photo ops, smiles and hugs. As we concluded our holiday and proceeded home to our “normal” life we said how much enjoyment we received during these few days together. However, the first question was “how was your flight home?” Uneventful! – A five-hour delay!. Better to ask “how much fun did you have?” “What is the event you will treasure the most?” Why does tragedy force us to make the sacrifice to all come together – Why isn’t the family vacation as important?
I suppose it is an age thing as we deal with the eventual – less in front than in back – in spite of the challenges, arguments and other truly meaningless things that seem to take center stage the family vacation is a chance….
A chance to remember that we are related --- A chance to reaffirm our commitment to each other --- a chance to remember that as our family grows and others join and we in turn join theirs’s, we gather to reaffirm that this group, large or small, is our group. That circle of people shares a special place in our lives. Of course, we all have friends and work colleagues that we care about and spend time with, but, it is this family unit that occupies a special place in our hearts. The more we are present and available to this unit the more we feel loved and supported. When the inevitable crisis visits our family, we have a group that will be there to cry with us as we move through those eventual times of need. The family vacation is that unique opportunity to sit with one another to find out what we missed while we were dealing with our lives. That chance to remember that your sister or brother, father or mother is a unique person to you no matter the history. Remember it is just history. The family vacation is the present and the present is all we have.
I am sorry you had a rough trip home, but what I really care about is that you took the trouble to come. And while you are here, let’s talk about your life and mine and we can come to understand that I love you because you are just a little bit or a lot of me. I love me and I love you. I want to remember just how special our time together was this year and I am looking forward to another family vacation as long as they will come…..
“What a great trip we had ---- love you!!!” ---- “Mean it”