Confidence

I am intrigued with the Vaporetto.  This is the public “bus” system in Venezia, Italia.  It is the easiest way to get around the city especially if you get tired of walking up and down stairs.  Venice has had a problem with getting people to pay for the ride as it is an open process to get on and off.  Slowly they are adding gates to the boat stops requiring either a pass on your phone or a card.  When I was in Venice in 2019, I purchased one of these cards.  They make you feel a bit like a local as you swipe the card at the gate and board the “bus”. When I arrived in Venezia a few days ago I decided to add money to my card so that I could ride the Vaporetto.  I went to the ticket office just outside Harry’s Bar on the walkway to Piazza San Marco.  I spoke to the woman behind the window. I was speaking in Italian and she demonstrated a degree of patience and understanding that made me feel good about my ability.   This also solved the information problem.  She told me that I had to go to another ticket office after the first bridge.  All of this I understood and set about walking a little further to the next ticket office.

The woman behind this second window took my card and laughed.  She said the card was pre covid and had no value. I knew this as I was seeking a solution not criticism.  It was her style that made me feel insecure about what I was trying to accomplish and about my ability to communicate.  With a dismissive wave of her hand, she embarrassed me, my language skills, and my need to achieve this task.  She waved her hand and said “bye, bye -- Buona notte”. I left the ticket booth with a feeling of, not only failure to achieve, but a sudden lack of confidence in my ability to accomplish some proficiency of the Italian language.   I wanted to leave, go back to Sausalito, and retire any hope of continuing my education and experience in Italy. 

As I meandered through the streets, dejected in my experience, I stumbled upon another ticket office near the Rialto Bridge.  As I approached the window this attendant smiled and ask how she could help.  I tried again, only this time she indicated a complete understanding of what I was saying in Italian.  For the next 20 minutes she and I exchanged information in Italian and I walked away with a new card, good for the next five years and a renewed confidence in my ability to make myself understood in a second language.

Learning a second language, especially later in life, is a challenge in the best of circumstances.  What I discovered is how fragile your confidence is.  It is incredibly challenging to translate in your head while you are speaking.  I find myself wanting to say I am smart in English – just not Italian.  I have been at this process for a while now but I am determined to fight through the impatient, less tolerant people and focus on the confidence builders. 

I can find us a hotel, feed us and navigate from point A to point B.  But what I cannot do is negotiate an argument or a contract.  Having said that the least bit of questioning sends my confidence plummeting.  It is far easier when you are conversing with your teacher or another friendly Italian who can fill in the gaps or understand your meaning.  People like the woman at ticket booth two was anything but sympathetic and her churlish attitude almost sent me home --- like the next plane home. But the patient woman of the final ticket booth was enough to convince me to keep at it.

Felice Ringraziamento e continua ad imparare!!!!