Stay Focused

It’s hard to stay focused…

 As much as one might want to help others and express concern for the difficulty they face, we can be selfish.  The weather is a consistent topic of conversation. I always have some meaningless comments on today’s weather.  This is odd because I have spent most of my life living in predictably mild climates.  Today’s weather is something we can do little about.  The only thing we can control is how we prepare for the weather not control it.  Global warming presents us with a unique situation.  We have grown up with the understanding that we cannot do anything about the weather.  We can only learn to deal with what the weather presents.  Warmer jackets when it is cold or seeking shade by the pool when it is hot.  Global warming, however, is a situation where we as humans can do something.  Scientists tell us that it is a correctable problem.    If we do not do anything then we can only attempt to exist in it.  It is a psychological and scientific challenge.  We have grown up with the belief that weather is beyond our control and yet we are being asked to change our behavior so that we can change the direction that weather is taking around the world.

The other massive impediment to correcting this problem or any other global problem is focus.  Remember when the Haiti Earthquake happened and there was an outpouring of concern and help?  Now all you hear about is gangs in the streets of Haiti.  I suspect the same people struggling after the earthquake are still struggling. We have lost focus on the problem and moved on to another.

 The heat wave is all over the news and all over the southwestern United States.  It is another topic to be concerned about and demands our focus and sympathy.  Three thoughts came to mind as the news focused on the people suffering through the heat which is the result of global warming.

1.     We are sympathetic towards these people now, but as I sit here in 65-degree weather looking over the San Francisco Bay ---- will my sympathy quickly turn to the same forgetfulness as the Haiti earthquake?

2.     Will this suffering convince the global warming deniers that it is time to work together and solve this problem?  Or will they choose to continue to support the further development of fossil fuels and selfishly protect their individual needs?

3.     Finally, I thought similarly to my gun-toting evangelical brothers when struggling to find a reason for a “Blue State” disaster ——- Surely, God is punishing this part of the country for their narrow-minded, judgmental view of, well, everything?

 Stay focused my friends….

The Party’s Over

I wonder what it is that drives people to unselfishly make an extraordinary effort for others.  It is a characteristic that is not shared by all.  I am not referring to the effort made for a positive outcome for oneself.  I am talking about the effort made to be enjoyed by others.

I was invited to lunch last Sunday.  I use the word lunch loosely as the lunch began at 2:30 and concluded well after 7:00 pm.  It was hosted by the renowned chef, restaurateur, and owner of Boulevard Restaurant in San Francisco.  Nancy and I became friends many years ago when I bought an auction item at an event held by Billy Shore founder of Share Our Strength.  Nancy and four chefs came to my home to cook a meal for ten guests.  It was an amazing evening.

 For this afternoon event, she had invited about 20 friends to her fabulous home in Sonoma.  It was a beautiful summer afternoon.  A pleasant breeze and mild temps for July.  The food and preparation were spectacular and were enough to feed an additional gathering.  The guests were all accomplished and interesting people.

 What struck me was the number of people required to put on such an event.  I stopped counting at 6, I am sure there were more.  Since I am usually the one doing the dishes, I was particularly cognizant that this all needed to be cleaned up.  That is my point --- After all of the greetings, interesting conversation, conception, and execution of Michelin class food -- it all goes away.  By 9:00 pm there is no indication that anything had occurred just three hours before.  It is like a concert.  within minutes of the final current call, the roadies have put away the instruments, the equipment, and the stage is empty.  In that very same fashion this lunch required all the prep and help of a good concert….and then — “Turn out the lights -- The party’s over --They say that all --- Good things must end --- Turn out the lights – The party’s over” --- Willie Nelson

 In truth that is exactly what happens.  All of this desire, energy, and work goes into creating an amazing event that just as suddenly is concluded.  More amazing is there is no indication that it ever happened.  What I am marveling at is the special type of person that creates these events.  I am left with the memories of great conversations, meeting new people, and the pride of being included.  However, it is the host that is truly special.  Restaurants create this play every night.  Every night it is a new event for the people that arrive but it is the creators that give it that energy of newness. Each evening, just like the party, it is all wiped away and ready for the evening. A shout out to the special people who provide the memories and clean up after…

Thank you Nancy for an extraordinary moment to be remembered…

If You Were to Wake Up

Last week I went to the Red Rocks Amphitheater in Colorado.  It is an amazing venue built into the slabs of rock that form the foothills of the Rocky Mountains as they slide onto the plains of the eastern part of the state stretching to the Great Plains.  I took my son and daughter-in-law to see Lyle Lovett.  We have appreciated this musician’s talent for decades.  Coincidentally the last time we saw him together was in Aspen.  The world shut down after that performance as the pandemic arrived.  He and his “Large Band” were on stage with the Denver Symphony Orchestra.  It was an epic concert as the musicians left the stage at 11:30pm having first walked on at 7:30pm.

 He is an incredible musician and song writer.  It is the incredible talent he surrounds himself with that make his concerts remarkable.  They are in their own right amazing musicians.  Throughout the concert they are given the opportunity to demonstrate their individual talents.  However, like so many things it is the collaborative effort that produces amazing results.  This concert was exactly that --- Amazing!

 Music is an emotional experience for me.  I am familiar with most of his work but it is the emotional response created by each song that resonates so deeply.  As these songs are played the wave of nostalgia flows over me as I remember her, them, him and the circumstances that attaches them to me and to the song.  Sometimes it is the words but most often it is the resonance of the music.  That melody which touches the memory of that moment when our hearts were one.  It is the vibration of the music that recalls the moment when the family was together or the experience mutually shared.  Music is your personal history of happiness and sadness.  The euphoria of the time or the melancholy of the conclusion.

 The notes are the same yet for each of us the music is so individual.  I hear the music in a different way than you do because my experience associated is unique.  Music provides a foundation for our memory to rest.  It is an assist in helping us recollect those times that we wish to recall and have the desire to live again.  Perhaps music is there for us to keep our hearts full and to remind us of lessons learned. 

 This concert as the others before and yet to come will remind me of the importance of music in our lives.  If we allow the music to touch us then we will always remember.  Those people and experiences will not be forgotten and can be held in our hearts.  Music is timeless and helps us remember the time….

Time reaches to you just like a willow

That bends to the water and clings to the shore

And there was a time dear, that once you did love me

And there was a time you loved me no more…

“If You Were to Wake Up” ----- Written by Lyle Lovett

Living in the Moment

I am on perma hold for United. I am thinking about the days when I never had to do this.  Working for an investment bank I had the good fortune of having access to people that did the holding for you.  That was in the past and now I am on hold in the present.  Later that afternoon I was waiting in an unending line of traffic hoping to move to my future destination.  While waiting in traffic I was thinking of when I lived in a place where there was no traffic. That was in the past and well, that, too, was in the past.  Now I am in the present and I am in traffic.

I am constantly being reminded by my many spiritual advisors to live in the present.  Since we cannot predict the future and the past has already occurred it is best to focus on the present.  Unlike the past or the future, you can do something, but sometimes the present isn’t that much fun.  We are on hold, waiting in line or otherwise occupied with things that aren’t presently enjoyable.

Being present is hard 

The past is a good place to self-flagellate ---- (The act of hitting yourself with a whip as a way to punish yourself) for all of the “would a - should a - could a” parts of our life.   In other words, a worthless opportunity to undo the things we wish we had not said or done.  A chance to look at the times when we refused to take the risk to be present.  But focusing on the past is a unsatisfactory opportunity to be unable to change the results. 

The future is just as fraught with the inability to achieve success. After all, if I could know the future, I would be writing this from my villa or my yacht.  Or one can engage in the fantasy of predicting the future or fantasizing about how the future will be.  A challenging exercise at best and a failed outcome at worst.  Focusing on the future will yield much the same result as trying to change the past.

Now the present is where it is at. Literally, it is all we truly have. The present is full of immediacy, intimacy, and risk. The opportunity to express your true feelings.  The chance to stand on the threshold, to expose yourself.  A moment to express your desires.  It is also the chance to receive an answer that will guide you down a new path resulting in pleasure.

The present is risky. You can protect yourself as you did in the past or you can hope for something better in the future.   You can bring your authentic self to the moment and receive a better outcome than the past and something that is now rather than merely a possibility. 

The present is the deep end of the pool.  Risky, but you won't hit your head on the rocks.

As much as I might like to change the past or guarantee the future I am focused on the present.  Taking the risk that I will be enough and satisfied with the to be determined reward .

It’s not easy…..  

Four Fathers

We hear about negligent fathers and we read about divorced fathers who are too busy to be present and available.   Those fathers made a bad decision, which short-changed themselves from the richness of fatherhood.  I'm going to write about fathers who I respect and admire. Fathers that have embraced the richness and the rewards of parenting.  They understand that the benefit of fatherhood comes later when those children become confidants and a consigliere for life.

 In recognition of Father’s Day, I am writing about four fathers.  I want to stipulate that I have known many fathers but given the limitations of time, words, and space I am only writing about four.  I further wish to stipulate that the role of the father is not only played by a male.  I know many women who play the traditional role of the father when the biological father has somehow forgotten that fatherhood is a life- long occupation and responsibility.

 I had dinner recently with one of those playing both the role of mother and father.  We had discussed this very topic.  Coincidently as I was driving home, I received a call from Billy, a long-time friend and father.  Billy has dedicated his life to the philanthropic efforts of Share Our Strength, an organization he founded.  I have attended several of the fundraising events he has hosted over the years.  I went to these events to support the mission but primarily to hear Billy speak.  He is an accomplished speaker.  His articulated message is clear, concise, and brief.  However, my favorite part of his speeches is the stories he would tell at the beginning of his talk.  The stories are always about a recent interaction with his son, Nate.  These stories are always humorous and endearing.  Most importantly they underscore the importance of fatherhood and being a father.  Billy and his wife Roe are dedicated parents and share the responsibility of parenting.  These stories demonstrated the unique relationship that belongs to fathers and their children.  As Nate has grown older the stories have changed from cute to instructive as Nate attempts to help his father grow up in the rapidly changing world that fathers navigate.  It is hard to navigate the rough waters of change.  Successful navigation with assistance is rewarding and fun 

 As it happened Billy was visiting with another father.  Shaun is a famous father.   It is not his famousness that I find interesting it is his fatherhood.  He grew up in a complicated family with plenty of road bumps along the way which might have derailed any normal famous father.  However, he and his beautiful wife chose to move away from the distractions and create an environment for their children that would give them a fighting chance to succeed.  It is this ability to compartmentalize his work in a publicly exposed industry from the importance of giving his children the best opportunity to succeed.  The ability of fathers to separate themselves from their success and give their children an unencumbered playing field for their own is an achievement worth honoring.

A new father…. My eldest son welcomed his first child four months ago.  This is his first Father’s Day.  All father’s days are important but the first is, well, it’s the first.  I love watching how he and Ingrid are building the foundation for this baby boy.  It is how they share the responsibility of bringing a new life into this challenging world.  I notice the care and detail with which they go about partnering.  They are the perfect example of the shared responsibility of parenting.  He will enjoy being a father as much as I have, However, what he brings to the table is the understanding that parenting is difficult, and having a real partner in the process will make this experience even richer.

 Finally, I am a father. It is the most rewarding part of my life.  It is the growth of the relationship with my children that I find the most amazing.  There is a lot of focus on the transition from one age to the next. It is a pure delight to see these humans take their first step and then observe their accomplishments through education, the arts, and sports. Feeling their pain of the familiar passages of heartbreak, disappointment, and failure.  Feeling the joy of their first kiss, their achievements, their successes. For me, the true reward of parenting is the growth of the relationship between father and child.  My joy has come from watching and experiencing my children moving from dependent to friend to consigliere.  There is no greater joy than asking my children for help and advice.  The ability to discuss, debate, and arrive at solutions.   They are achievements through collaboration.  The mutual respect that comes with age, wisdom and growth through individual experience.

 My children have experienced life in their unique way.    It is this difference that has made our relationship richer, deeper, and more nuanced.  The beauty of being a father is knowing that these humans that you brought into this world are indeed individuals.  It is their brilliance that shines more brightly as they grow older.  Being a father means that I have a front-row seat.  All of this comes with love and respect.  The combination just cannot be achieved in any other arena.

 I am honored to know these fathers.  I have great respect and applaud them for what they give to their children They are examples of the joy and love gained when you bring it all.  Being present and available with love and respect.  It is a formula that can only be achieved through the magic of parenting and being a father.

 I am blessed and so are they

 With love.

Happy Father’s Day

Trust

I was having trouble picking a topic this week.  Not really writer’s block, just couldn’t come up with a topic.

 I attended a wedding on Saturday in Denver.  I have known this couple for a short time.  In truth, they are close friends with my daughter-in-law and son.  Therefore, they are close to me.  They are a beautiful couple and their family story is heartwarming.  The wedding was beautiful, and super fun. As a true test of how engaged everyone was at the event, we all stayed until the very end and were all properly over-served.

 As I thought about this event, I started thinking about trust.  Trust is critical in any relationship, personal or business.  Trust seems easier to maintain in the beginning.  Probably because we want to believe in the trust that exists.  Sometimes we trust only to find out months later that we should not have trusted.  I was thinking about the rationale of those that prefer to trust and those that violate that covenant. 

I prefer to believe that we are able to maintain the trust we possess in the beginning.   The realization that trust was not given equally is just sad.

 As much as we profess that trust is important in our life, we somehow are able to look the other way when it comes to our political establishment.  I am completely baffled by the polls that indicate we have a lack of trust in our institutions.   The oddity is we do not trust the institutions made up of the people we elected.  Yet it appears that somewhere just shy of 50% of this country trust a twice impeached, multiple indicted ex-president.  He demonstrates over and over that he cannot be trusted and yet so many people do.

 I read a statistic that 60% of voters do not possess a college degree.  The people that makeup  60% have participated in a trustworthy relationship or have promised to be trusted.  Therefore, they must know the difference between trustworthy and untrustworthy.  Here we are settling in for a year and one-half of people clogging the media and pathways of communication with lies and untrustworthy commentary. 

A large majority of this country is ok with it.

 We stand in front of our friends, family, romantic partners,  and business associates speaking of the importance of trust.  To those same people, we continually promise to be trustworthy.  At the same time, we are able to rationalize the lack of trust and lies from our leaders.   Somehow believing that the outcome is acceptable to us.

A sad state of affairs….

Behind The Bar

I went to a small but popular restaurant in a little town in Marin County.  Larkspur is the home of several restaurants but Restaurant Picco is my favorite.  I was alone so I sat at the end of the bar.  It was a busy night and the bar was full except for this one seat next to the wall.  The barman was alone and as I sat down, he turned and said he would be a minute.  Given this moment to watch and observe I did just that.  This one man is responsible for the making and distribution of all things alcoholic for not only the bar but for all of the other tables in the restaurant. And so, I watched as he did much more….

Host:

He greets all who approach the bar. Even those who are not sitting at the bar. He explains what seats were open and how long the wait is for a seat. He is also greeting those who are waiting for a table and have decided they need a drink. He is the central figure for all needs and the pacifier for those too busy to wait.

Busboy

He clears all of the glasses, dishes and flatware from the bar as people came and go. He is the first and only wave responsibility to keep the restaurant looking always prepared for the next new customer..

Dishwasher

He washes all of the various glass ware from the bar.  He puts them into the bar dishwasher, emptied the glasses when the cycle had completed, polished the glasses and returns them to the shelf to be used again.

Server

He distributed the menus and then explains the menu, takes the order and delivers to the kitchen.  They only thing he did not have to do was be the runner between the kitchen and the bar.

Additional server duties – explain the dishes and their preparation – check to see if the food was to the customer’s liking and deal with the inevitable complaint.

Bartender

While playing all of these roles he is performing the duties of a bartender.  He is making all drinks for the people sitting at the bar.  In addition, he is serving wine and cocktails to all of the other tables as he supports all of the servers in the restaurant.

What I realized is that this single individual was performing over and over all of the jobs of this good but popular restaurant. 

 I sat in amazement as this one person fulfilled all the roles of a well-functioning restaurant with ease and efficiency. 

This is a shout-out to all those behind the bar who welcome us to their home, talk food and wine, sports and dispense wisdom and advice all for the price of a meal.

Welcome! What would you like?

Consistent

The sky was stunningly blue with an occasional splash of white provided by the clouds dotting the sky.  I was in Vail seeking an answer to my annoying knee.  The scent of health and athleticism dominates this community. .  You just feel better in this environment.  Since I was there it seemed like a good idea to stay the weekend.  Good ideas don’t always materialize quickly but this one did.   This confluence of happy events gave me the opportunity to be with a young four-legged companion.  Animals teach us a lot about happy events, good ideas and idea execution.  Animals also teach us a great deal about patience and consistent behavior.

Consistent behavior requires discipline and the belief that the idea can be achieved. What trips us up is our arbitrary belief in the amount of time it will take to achieve a goal.    I spent some time this weekend with the aforementioned four-legged companion. He is an eight-month-old dog named Louis.  Louis is not my dog but he is a family member.  He belongs to my daughter-in-law and son.  We were sharing this weekend in the mountains of Colorado. In terms of canine care, my daughter-in-law is responsible for the “early shift”.  My son takes the late-night shift.  Because we are both early risers, she and I would meet in the morning at 8:00am for coffee and a walk. 

My idea of a walk with Louis is a pleasant stroll with Louis walking at my pace without pulling on the leash or lurching at the various distractions along the way.  I am pretty sure this was not his idea of an ideal walk in an unfamiliar neighborhood.  As I have been dealing with the knee situation, I was more interested in our working together to achieve a walk that did not negatively impact my recovery.  To be fair to Louis he was not totally unfamiliar with this form of walking.  Asking him to walk in a collected manner was not brand new but my holding the leash was new.  Each day I did everything consistently.  We met at the same time. We walked the same route.  Given that it was an early hour there were few distractions.  Each day was better than the next in terms of his behavior and how we worked together. We would make a quick stop at the coffee shop. He would wait patiently and then we would walk to a large grass area to play catch.  None of this is particularly amazing in terms of a well-trained dog but he is not my dog. However, I presented myself in a consistent manner and he was soon behaving as if he was my companion.  Both Louis and I brought our best and most consistent selfs to these morning interactions.  It was a wonderful start to the day for both of us. 

What did Louis teach me?

Consistency is important.  My four-legged friend taught me that when I bring my consistent self the results are positive.  It is not only a good thing to think of when training a young dog, it is a good thing to remember when interacting with people.  Developing relationships through consistent behavior is a terrific developmental foundation.  I don’t want to be seen as only sometimes available.  I want to be seen as reliable and consistent.  The low approval ratings for our governmental leadership have as much to do with their lack of consistent behavior as it does with whether or not I agree with their policies.  The debt issue is a perfect example of the inconsistent nature we present to the world.  Other governments want to have the confidence that our government can be relied on to behave consistently.  We demonstrate consistently that we are not consistent.

Developing our relationships with business partners and clients require that same level of consistent behavior.   More than your opinion or your correctness I want to know that I can rely on you to be available and consistent.

Like Louis, he and I developed a positive relationship because we behaved in a predictable fashion and could rely on each other to perform our roles and tasks with consistency.

Good boy Louis…...

Value

Italians have a wonderful love affair with coffee.  It is not just the coffee, it is the ritual associated with coffee.  The different coffee preparations and the appropriate time to consume them are all part of this special coffee culture.     My favorite is the morning ritual.  I have a preference for a cappuccino in the morning.  For Italians, a cappuccino is a morning drink as it is a heavier drink given the milk in the preparation.  Versus an espresso which is acceptable almost anytime as it is just coffee.  What is valuable is how one drinks their cappuccino in the morning.    A cappuccino is meant to be enjoyed at a bar (Italian for coffee shoppe) with a friend or whomever is at the bar.  It is a ritual that allows you to ease into your day —- No “to go” cups of coffee here.  Coffee and friendship are meant to be savored not rushed.

In my small-town north of San Francisco there is an Italian restaurant.  In the morning they open their doors and convert the bar to an Italian espresso bar.  You order at the bar and then take your coffee to any table and enjoy a moment of quiet reflection to start the day.  What is best about Poggio is the people who work there.  The morning crew is the best.  Diego is the ring master.  He speaks several languages so I can practice my Italian.  He keeps everything running smoothly with an engaging and welcoming personality and a sincere interest in his clients.  He is backed up by the current morning team of Freddy, Vivi and the current coffee leaf design master Pedro.  The group all work many jobs. However, they make a special effort for their regular morning clients. Their warmth and kindness are what makes this Italian Espresso bar in California seem like you are in Venezia, Firenze or Milano.

They are a perfect example of friendship and being open to experience that friendship.  If you are open and present you have the pleasure of their friendship. The past is complete and we do not know the future, so being present is the best part of living.  It is the practice of being present and available that will open the door to future value. 

Over the years I have developed friendships in Italy.  We don’t see each other every day but we have learned to maintain our friendships through writing, phone calls and visiting.  One might question the value of such interactions as we tend to see value as transactional.  Not all relationships are transactional.  It is the practice of being open to a relationship that keeps the door open.  Being judgmental will direct the path but it is not always the right path or the path that leads to a richer relationship.  Be open and present, what develops will be the reward.

Speaking of friendship and the different ways it is manifested, I recently attended a dinner of former colleagues.  We all worked for the same firm, but in different verticals.  What I noticed about this dinner was in spite of the different roles and the different time periods we performed those roles we behaved like old friends.  The friendship that we were experiencing was created by our mutual attachment to the entity itself.  We treated each other as friends and expressed sincere interest in each other’s lives.  Yet the common theme was the entity itself.  One might refer to this as the culture of the firm.  However, I think it goes beyond that.  This, now, corporate entity has created a truly unique extension of the value of friendships.  The entity is of great value but it is its ability to bond people in friendship that is so special.  It is that value which needs to be maintained.

 The issue is how do we maintain contact.   How do we contribute value not only to the entity, but to each other?  We are all pursuing different avenues, some commercial, some philanthropic and some family, yet the power and value is multiplied if we can find a way to harness that friendship on a continuum.   What we created last night was a snapshot. The goal is to move from a snapshot to a movie.  An ongoing movie which creates value to the entity and to the individuals that are strenghthening their friendships.

We shared our different individual experiences, although unique they were attached to the overall entity.   The friendship transcended those experiences and were attached to the entity.  This unusual organization carries a personality that has been built over the years. We all contributed to that personality.  The challenge for the entity, in spite of huge growth, is to maintain that personality, which, in itself makes this organization unique.  

Friendships are powerful.  Harnessing those friendships will make a unique organization more creative and successful.  Like my coffee bar, it supplies a platform for friendships to flourish.

Vorrei un cappuccino, grazie….

Mother’s Day

Of course, I was thinking about mothers today.  As much time as we spend with our mothers ---how much do we really know about them?

 My mother grew up in the Big Band Era with great musicians -- Benny Goodman, Glenn Miller, Count Basie and Artie Shaw.  The genre is generally defined as a big band or jazz orchestra consisting of ten or more musicians.  This sophisticated music was dominate during the 1940s.  I always thought my mother was a big fan of this music and her top performers were of this era.

 I served on the board of the University of California Foundation Board for many years.  One of the top programs at the University was its Arts and Lectures program.  Considered one of the best in the country it brought top entertainment from a board spectrum to the University.  I was also on the advisory board for the Arts and Lectures.  The curator of the yearly program had a group of entertainers that she was particularly close to.  One of those entertainers was Wynton Marsalis.  He is considered the premier jazz trumpet player in the world.  He is also the managing and artistic director of Jazz at Lincoln Center.  This Orchestra is the current iteration of the Big Band.  Mr. Marsalis was coming to UCSB to perform one spring around Mother’s Day.  I called my mother to see if she might be interested in attending the performance. Surprisingly she said no that she did not think she had time.  Thinking there would be other opportunities and musicians, I asked if she could go to a concert who would she most like to see.  She responded: Well, I really love B.B.  King!!!  B.B. King??? Are you kidding? I never knew my mother was a fan of the blues or the incredible B.B. King.  As it happened B.B. King was also coming to perform in Santa Barbara.  This would be one of his last performances before he would pass to the other side.

I asked my mother if she would like to come to a concert of his.  She said she would love to

 I brought her to Santa Barbara.   We had a lovely quiet dinner and drove to the Arlington Theatre for the concert.   Tickets in hand we made our way down the isle of this sold-out venue.  Every seat was taken to see this blues legend.  We made our way to our seats, saying hello to some of the board members along the way.  There we were center stage, front row.   At this point in his career, B.B. King sat in a chair and played during the performance.  He was amazing.  Another tradition for B.B. King concerts is at the end of the concert as the band is taking their bows, he throws various memorabilia to the front of the stage.    Because of this tradition a number of people had come up and are now standing between our seats and the stage.  Of all the trinkets the prize is the gold key ring with his famous guitar, Lucille.  In between the guitar picks and other less worthy items he tossed a key ring in the direction of my mother.   A young man who had come to the area between the first row of seats and the stage moved to pick up the key ring.  Mr. King waved him off and said no it was for the lady as he pointed to my mother.   The young man graciously turned and handed it to my mother.  B.B. King had obviously noticed her in the front row and for also being of his age group.

 For me it was a memorable evening as it was for my mother..  We went backstage and met Mr. King. He was gracious and attentive to my mother.  It was a wonderful evening that fulfilled one of my mother’s wishes.

 Mothers have a hard job, better described as the hardest.  Everything flows through them.  Both good news and bad comes to the mother first.  In addition to organizing all of the tasks that are required to get kids to school, sports practice, bills paid etc. etc. they get to solve all of the emotional trauma.  They really drew the short straw.  It is a job with fleeting rewards and shorter moments to enjoy them.   If we are fortunate to live long enough to know our mothers, we will most assuredly come to know many of the things she did not wish to reveal.  They are allowed to have their secrets.  We will only discover them when we are old enough to know and understand. Thank goodness the mothers of the world are allowed to hold onto their secrets.  Only to reveal them at the appropriate time.  And when we discover a treasure and we can act on it, the joy of discovery becomes all the sweeter.

Next time you are chatting with mom ask her to tell you something about herself. What kind of music do you like ? You might learn something about someone who knows a lot about you ……

 Really? B.B. King? Really!!!? ------- “I really love B.B.King”

 Happy Mother’s Day to all the fabulous mothers.  Keep your secrets until it is time.

We love you.

Teamwork

I have had “teamwork” on my mind recently.   I was in London recently visiting my writer, director, actor daughter.  I would like to think that we are both writers.  You can write on your own or you can do as we did while I was visiting.  In the afternoon we would go to one of her special writing spots and we would write together.  I think we both accomplished a lot although working on different projects.  Rather than working in isolation we were working together.  The positive outcome is attributed to the power of working together as a team. 

In this time of March Madness followed by NBA playoffs, I thought of the greatest college basketball coach of all time – John Wooden.  He coached UCLA to ten NCAA National Championships along with a long list of impressive records.  He has written several books dealing with leadership and teamwork.

I grew up in a Southern California Household dominated by my father’s loyalty and obsession with the athletic exploits of the USC Trojans.  However, during the winter and spring months, it was my mother’s turn as she had attended UCLA and was a big fan of John Wooden. USC is a football school and UCLA dominates in basketball.

All of this thinking about sports, my parents, my daughter and teamwork reminded me of a story that represents the essence of teamwork – people working together to achieve a positive outcome.

Many years after Coach Wooden retired he was living in Southern California writing and speaking.  At this time, he was in his early 90’s.  I was living in Santa Barbara and was the Chairman of the UCSB Foundation Board.  Gary Cunningham was the athletic director at UCSB.  Gary had played basketball for John Wooden and was an assistant coach under Wooden for 10 years before coaching UCLA himself for two years. 

The Foundation Board, like others in the UC system, is principally involved in fund raising for the University.  Gone are the days when the UC system was primarily funded through tax dollars.  Now UCSB and others rely on the generosity of alumni  to fund activities like intercollegiate sports. 

I asked Gary if he was still in contact with Coach Wooden.  He said he talked to him almost every day.  Knowing that I asked Gary if he thought Coach Wooden would attend a small dinner in Los Angeles.   If  yes, I could raise $100 thousand dollars for the athletic department if Coach Wooden would commit to such a dinner.  I remember Gary thinking that I was out of my mind and that I could not accomplish such a goal.  A week later Gary called  to say that Coach would come to my dinner and make a few remarks. 

The dinner was held at the now closed French restaurant L’Orangerie in Los Angeles.  In its day it was the quintessential French restaurant in Southern California.  I had ten guests that night and each had paid $10,000 for the privilege of having dinner with the Coach.  Gary Cunningham was ecstatic.

There was one more thing I had to solve for this to be as good an evening as I had imagined.  Coach Wooden was in his early nineties at this point and was not much for standing around in advance of the dinner.  So, I had arranged for him to be seated immediately upon arrival.  I felt I could not have him sit alone while the rest of us were waiting for all the guests to arrive.  What better companion, I thought, than my mother.  Remember the UCLA fan who adored Coach Wooden.  She was in her eighties at this point.  She would be the perfect dinner companion.  I was so excited to call my mother and invite her to this dinner.  She accepted and thus the party was complete.

What I remember most about the evening was my mother and Coach Wooden deep in conversation before and throughout the dinner.  I thought he was going to ask her out or maybe forget he had to speak.  Alas he did speak to a thoroughly engaged dinner table. 

To me this is a wonderful example of bringing many people together for the purpose of achieving a positive result.  There were so many positives.  The University had a terrific fund-raising night.  I proved to Coach Cunningham a lesson in fund raising. (People love to give to dinners with accomplished people).  Coach Wooden was happy with the event.  Finally and most importantly, my mother was happy.

Teamwork is all about taking the risk that other people are there for you when you need them.  It is about the obvious --- people are more powerful when working together.

 Epilogue

My mother and Coach Wooden never dated and I don’t think they spoke again.  They both lived another 10 years and I hope this was an evening they both remembered with fondness.

Love you, Mom

Happy Birthday (May 5)

You Can’t Rent It

I have been known as a bit of a “dude”.  As a matter of fact, that has been my nickname in some circles.  At a minimum I have always been interested in clothes and one’s appearance.  This interest dates back to working in a men’s store throughout  college.   As such, I have been  fortunate enough to experience many of the top Italian brands for men. 

 A few years back, a good friend of mine had a black-tie wedding.  Another good friend was attending this event.  During the pre-ceremony,  Al approached me and complimented me on my tuxedo.  He asked where I had rented it?  I replied “It’s a Brioni – you can’t rent it!” Arrogant for sure but it has been a standing joke between us for years.  To this day we still laugh at this comment whenever we find an occasion to reference the difference between something of value and a substitution.

 It might be desultory,  but my interest in clothes extends to what it says about how one presents themselves to the outside world.  It is not about how much you spend, it is about how you wish others to perceive you.  If you show up for a special event in a t-shirt and shorts it indicates a lack of caring for the effort put forth to create that event.   It doesn’t say much  about yourself either.   On the other hand, showing up well-groomed and well-dressed says you cared and thought about the meeting and the people involved.  You demonstrate caring in many different ways.  Presenting yourself says as much about you as it says about how you feel towards the people in your company.

 Recently I have became a fan of Isaia.  Isaia was founded in Napoli in 1920. As a family business it is now run by Gianluca Isaia.  Their price point is similar to  other hi-end Italian clothiers.  However, that is where the similarity ends.  Beyond price, there is a significant difference which made me think of the importance of a team effort when it comes to sales.  It is the team effort that makes this company significantly different.  More importantly teamwork is a powerful leverage point for any successful sales effort. 

 Tarek is the manager of the San Francisco store.  During the pandemic he was able to convert his sales effort to an appointment only format which allowed him to continue to sell product while other stores where unable.  Tarek regularly introduces Sig. Isaia to his customers.  It is part of their company culture.  Giancarlo Isaia travels the world.   He makes himself available to  clients and employees.  I met him recently after he had been crisscrossing the globe visiting.  He does this kind of touring  multiple times a year.  I am not a big client but talking to him you would think so.  He is thoughtful as we discuss the business of clothes and selling.  He does this with the patience of a good teacher.  Further he allows these discussions to take place in my broken but improving Italian. 

 I have also been in the Isaia store in London, Milan, Rome, Los Angeles and New York.  In each of those stores when I mention I am a client in San Francisco I am treated as if I was their client.  Recently I visited Patrick in Milan and  Michael in London.   These individuals support each other in spite of the distances between them.  They acknowledge  and support each other’s clients.  It is an unusual display of a supportive team effort.

 I believe we think of retail as a singular effort with sales people protective of their clients.  Isaia  has managed to create a culture of support and promotion amongst its sales staff.  The idea a team selling the brand and working with each other achieves a better result for their company and the individual.

Traveling and working with colleagues while visiting clients shows you have access to all company resources. You are not guarded. You bring the best from others to your clients.  Isaia has managed to do this in a usually protective retail sales environment.  This kind of team work makes the client feel welcomed, appreciated and heard.

Sales is a human endeavor and the more you make it so, the more successful you can become.

Sig. Isaia has brought the Italian focus of family and team work to his business and it shows.  It is a global experience that is welcoming and endearing.

And the clothes are amazing….

And…..

You can’t rent it!!!

Going To The Office

I traveled to London to visit my daughter.  While there, i visited a friend at the London headquarters of Goldman Sachs.  He has a really big job heading a division that used to be three.   

 I arrived at the beautiful new building.  Security is high but not intimidating.  I was met by his assistant who guided me through the trading floor to his office.  Trading floors in concept have not changed except there are more people and more screens.  There is one thing that is different and that is the sound or lack of it.  This very large, amazing trading floor was oddly quiet. 

 We had a warm and interesting catch up.  He writes a blog for the firm.  It is well worth the read — always knowledgeable and provocative.  The other interesting aspect is that it has a bit of human interest and thus, a very warm quality.  We talked about the joys of writing mixed with the pressure of a weekly publication.  We agreed that writing has made us more observant of the world and human behavior.

 We concluded our visit as he had to move to his next meeting.  His assistant escorted me through the floor to the elevator.  I tried to get her to sign-up to my blog ---- always selling!!

 As I left the building a distinct feeling came over me.  A bit of nostalgia but something else.  It was the comfort of connecting with the familiar.   I have come in and out of buildings like this more times than I can count over my career in financial service. 

 I began to think about the positive nature of going to a designated place to work versus working remotely.  I found going to work was a way of compartmentalizing one of the many things we do with our lives.  A place to work helps to focus and give fully to that which we are engaged.  Living and working in the same place blurs the lines of living and working.  When at home, it is important to experience what is valuable and enjoyable about being at home.  Whether family or single, home offers a chance to find solace and rest from the other activities of life.   Home represents a different and hopefully more peaceful opportunity to enjoy and reflect.

 I liked the process of going to work.  There was a preparation that is distinct from the other activities you prepare for.   Whether it’s a suit or casual business or a uniform the process of getting ready is different from a social activity.  This is followed by the trip to work.  There are so many tools now that allow you to continue your preparation for your work day.  Listening to messages or listening to work related publications is another way of preparing.

 Finally, there is the arrival at the office.    This is where I work and it is separate and distinct from the other places I inhabit.  Work offers the stage on which we can interact with our colleagues.  We communicate in person and experience the nuance and depth of interpersonal language.   When I am at home my boss might call me once a day but when I am at our place of work, I have multiple opportunities to receive feedback.  A place of work creates the stage that allows spontaneity and creativity.  The aspect of working and living in the same place makes it very difficult to get as much out of the work experience or the home experience. 

 When one is at work in the presence of colleagues one can create and collaborate with them.   You learn how to work with people. how to resolve conflict. You can congratulate and experience success and failure together.  Whether it's passing in the hallway or in the same room creativity explodes with the energy created by in-person communication.   The digital tools that we have in front of us helps our solution driven ideas, but they can isolate us.  Remember the stereo type of the early computer programmer – locked in a room - up all night writing code.  There is a loneliness that comes about in developing code or computer programming, and perhaps that has leaked into today’s digital products and remote work. 

 I had a terrific feeling, maybe even a longing of wanting in person work again.  I realized the idea of working from home can stunt creativity in spite of Zoom. There is nothing quite the same as human interaction to create positive results.  So, as I left the office, I thought how much I had accomplished in such a short time and how many subjects we had addressed.  In person collaboration opens up rich possibilities that are otherwise limited when working remotely.  When we work together regardless of what kind of tools we are using, there is nothing quite like the creativity we can develop with another human.  Think of one industry or enterprise that functions better when colleagues work alone.  Cannot imagine a sports team working remotely.  We make friends, we collaborate we produce a better imagined product when we work together. 

 Think of the break your mind and body will get when you arrive home for a real disconnect from work.  I had a great opportunity to re-experience working in an office the other day.  I thank my friend for treating me.  It would not have happened remotely.

Willing and able to work in an office.

 From London: 

Fredric Steck

Time Out

In the early days of business travel I flew out of San Francisco International.  Terminal 4 was American Airlines.  At that time American was the premier airline.  Now it is just another crappy American carrier trying to squeeze every inch out of the seats so that their customers can be as uncomfortable as possible.  At the same time they hire an ad agency to convince you that this is an amazing way to travel.  You could park and run directly to the gate as there was no security to go through.  What was important at that time was to get every minute out of your day before you reached the airport.  The goal was to run on the plane as they were closing the doors.  The idea of getting to the airport early was, well, it just wasn’t the thing to do. 

Obviously the world is different now.  For years we have been indoctrinated to arrive hours early for flights.  Two to four hours depending on where you were going.  In the beginning this recalculation seemed so foreign to me.  Unnecessary and un cool as the goal was to get there “just” in time.  But I have evolved…..

 I have been converted.  I am flying to London today.  I made a point of arriving to the airport early.  Not just the two-hour early requirement, but earlier.  I have discovered that arriving early has its advantages and it is not only for the benefit of the airline.  After all why would one do anything to benefit organizations that spend their time thinking of new ways to make you as uncomfortable as possible.  Arriving early has several advantages.  You have checked in. Maybe baggage checked. Essentially you have no baggage or any other responsibilities.  Depending on how much time you have allowed you have a two-hour time out from life.  Your only responsibility is getting your self to the gate and walking onto the plane.  The amount of baggage you create is completely in your control.  You can Instagram scroll to your hearts content. In general, you get a pass from constant availability. 

“I’ll be traveling can we have out conference call after I arrive? I will call when the plane lands” Talking on the phone while on a plane is still a societal no no.  We just do not want to hear your one-sided conversation. International travel is perfect because of time zones are a natural governor to always being available.

 Your immediate responsibilities are concluded once you are checked-in, bags disposed of and now all you have to do is wait.  A brief time-out from society.  A true opportunity to selfishly meditate, read, and listen. In other words your senses are yours and no others while you recline in quiet anonymity.  It’s one good things airlines and the constant drum of instruction that accompany air travel ---- a welcome time out.

 Your flight departs at 4:52 pm,  Please arrive early - indeed I will.

Conversation

Early last year a former colleague of mine called to see what I was up to.  We had a terrific “catch-up”.  As we were concluding our call he said, “let’s not wait 5 years to have our next conversation.”  Since that call we have been doing a monthly call.  They are not long, maybe 30 minutes, as he has a very big job in Asia.  However, we make good use of our time with an adequate mix of business and personal. 

About three weeks ago I connected with a friend that I had met many years ago.  We were in different circumstances at that time but I remember how our energy connected in such a positive way.  We have recently had a couple of dinners and have discovered the same energy prevailed.  We managed to close the restaurant as we talked  about everything from politics to children.

Last Easter Sunday my daughter invited me to have Easter lunch with her family.  It was a beautiful day after a winter of rain.  There was no disciplining of children and no food fights. It was a varied conversation stretching from children’s activities to vacation plans to work.  Essentially it was a complete recap of our current lives.  I was amazed that we closed the place as we were in no hurry to leave and everyone seemed to be involved in the conversation.

I am paying attention to these three events as they all had one thing in common.  The sheer joy of human connectivity and caring.  I aware we all have phones.  I am as bad as the kids for texting and scrolling through IG.  I want to keep it 💯 with you--nothing is better than in-person/real communication.  It has all of the emotion and nuance that we as humans are seeking.  The light in your eyes when you are enthusiastic, the twinkle when you are flirting, the wrinkle when you disagree but are empathetic enough to understand.  Human communication is such a complex set of voices, intonation, language both verbal and body all rolled up into a real time experience.  I love writing and I am learning to love reading but there is nothing more rewarding than experiencing verbal connection.  It is opening the door to so much more.  It is not a conclusion it is the newest chapter no matter how old the book, the chapters keep getting written.

 There is someone out there that would love to hear from you.  My suggestion is go see them or at the very least give them a call.  In addition to these recent conversations…….

i am Grateful————-

• For my health and spirit

• For my lovely children

• For those who love me for who I am not what I have

• For my grandchildren and the ones to come

• For my ability to help others and communicate

• For my ability to be empathetic

• For whomever or whatever has allowed all of this be

• For the guidance that my father and mother gave to me - may they rest in peace and find happiness in the place they reside

• For the hope that i have for mankind

  For my optimism and belief that it will all be ok

3 – 3 – 152

The news today was all about a guy that really should be irrelevant.  The news reporting made consistent reference to a historical event and a sad day for Democracy.  History or not – A sad day for Democracy  was not about a  narcissistic figure being arrested.  It was sad because students in Nashville Tennessee had to leave their classrooms to protest the fact that no Republican had the guts to help bring about legislation that would limit and control the gun craziness that exists in the United States.  There are more guns than people in the US.  The sad truth is that if you vote for a Republican you are voting to perpetuate this insane escalation of gun violence.  There continue to be more  absurd reasoning the political leaders are assigning to this most recent shooting at a school.  Rep Burchett (in a mark of real intelligence) was quoted as saying  “criminals will be criminals”  {reminds me of the “boys will be boys” when what’s his name  was raping and grouping  women}  Then further proving his insensitivity and thoughtfulness he tried to suggest an analogy of his father being shot at in World War II.  That comment was only appropriate because the shooter used a military rifle to shoot unarmed children and teachers.   Other than the fact that we allow civilians to buy and carry military rifles his comments had absolutely no relevance to the situation.

Are we insane?  We have bastardized the Second Amendment; found a myriad of other excuses to justify this insane part of everyday life in the US.  The only way out of this is to vote for a Democrat.  We have no other power because no elected Republican will ever stand up to fix this horrible situation.  Oh, the solution that the congressman had for his daughter – we homeschool her.  Now there is a real man of the people.

 I had every intention of writing something positive this week.  However, all I could think about were these numbers.

3 ------ Nine-year-old children

3 ------ Adults

152 --- Bullets from a Military Assault Rifle.

 A sad day for Democracy….

Just Say Yes

The season of yes

 It is easy to get comfortable with the routine.  Favorite restaurants, vacation spots and all sorts of habits we do every day.  Not only is change a challenge as we struggle to remove ourselves from our comfort zone but it is hard to say yes.  So much easier to say no.  After a couple of years of either lockdown or isolation I have determined that yes would be the optimal word for the next decade.  Doesn’t have to be a big yes.  No, I am talking about simple yes that moves the needle just a little, but opens you up to more than you expected.  Of course, big yes will result in big changes --- moving across the country or out of the country.  What I am referring to is your willingness to say yes to little things.  The things that it is easy to say no to.  I would suggest that doing that will add a level of excitement and discovery that going to the same restaurant will never achieve.

 Case in point… The Snail Bar…

I live in Marin County.  Now this is not a universal truth but getting someone from Marin to go to the East Bay is generally a hard no.  My new friends from the Bell’s reunion dinner that I wrote about last week called to see if I would meet them at  The Snail Bar.  I had never heard of it and by the sound of the name it was never going to be on my “to do” list.  But I am into saying “yes” and so I did exactly that.  Now the distance to this establishment is 25 miles or less than 30 minutes.  However, on a Friday evening it could take well over an hour. Not to be deterred from my yes program I headed out to this establishment.  

Reward:

I found a parking place in front of the restaurant.  Must have been good karma for traveling all that way -- : -)

Better reward:

This little hole in the wall is fabulous.  Great food, unusual but solid wine selection.  My friend Greg said it was a super little place. Greg is always right.

Best reward:

The five of us had a fantastic conversation and became even better friends.   A writer for me to bounce my naive questions off of – a film/AI/tech gentleman who knew my good friend who makes IMAX movies--- Francine and Brian — most special.  The conversation was varied, exciting and I learned a lot. It was just fun.

 Next Case…

I had dinner with a friend that I had not seen in a while. It evolved into a 5-hour conversation solving all of the world’s problems, having a lot of smiles and laughs and closing the restaurant. Such a wonderful evening…

 Next case…

I picked up my grandson from tennis and took him to his community project.  He tutors a young boy who normally would not have access to additional educational help.  Best part --- we had dinner after.  Now for all of those who think this generation spends all of their time with their nose buried in an electronic device, I will tell you be careful when you paint things with a broad brush.  This generation is thoughtful, open minded, without bias and brilliant.  We had a varied conversation and help with my book. I can hardly wait for them to kick-out the narrow-minded, biased individuals who pose as leaders in the US Congress.

 None of these events are either earth shattering or unique in the grander scheme of fancy things to do in the world.  But they occurred because I said yes.  They broadened my world view, made me think and well, they were just super fun. 

 If you say no ---- it doesn’t happen….

Time Well Spent

I was listening to a radio show today on my local NPR station (KQED).  The subject matter presented by Forum host Nina Kim was an interview of Shadi Hamid.  He is a Senior Fellow at the Brookings Institute.  He wrote an article in The Atlantic titled “You’re Better Off Not Knowing”.  The basic precept of this article is that listening to news all of the time can leave us physically ill or mentally exhausted.  We could find better uses for our time than listening to news all day all the time.  He further puts forth that much of the news is beyond our control and impact.  An additional reason for finding better use of those hours.   For example, as a news person he has not been following the latest Trump saga over his potential indictment.  He doesn’t follow this story because it literally has no impact on his life and he has no control over the process or the outcome.  I find we indulge in a lot of similar news stories.  I have always been fascinated with the Kardashians.  Not that I follow them but because so many people do follow them.  The Kardashian activities or lack of activities have no impact on our lives or society’s.   Trump’s activities are similar.   He is not in power,  has no ability to pass laws or pen executive orders that would impact me in any way.  His legal troubles are out of my control and have no impact.  Although I might smile or even laugh if he were to actually be convicted, following news about him is an absolute waste of time.  The point of all of this is one might consider being more  selective about the things  we commit time to.  Our life span is approximately 4700 weeks.  When you look at it in that way you might be more careful how much time you commit to Trump or Kardashian.

 Speaking of a better use of time….

I attended a reunion of sorts at my favorite restaurant in Los Alamos, CA --- Bell’s.  A Michelin Star restaurant owned and presented by Daisy and Greg Ryan.  The group assembled had been together in the South of France last fall.  The dinner prepared by Daisy and her staff and presented by Greg and his staff was amazing.  We all felt it was the meal we had expected during our tour of the not so fabulous restaurants curated by the tour organizer.  For me it was an interesting comparison in how we related to each other.  I did not know anyone except Daisy and Greg when we met in France.  Admittedly I can be stand offish as unknown groups tend to make me a little withdrawn.  On this occasion we greeted each other as friends,  not just friends,  but warm friends who had shared more than a moment in time.  As I reflect on  the aforementioned discussion,  I thought of this evening and how worthwhile it was to have taken the trouble to attend.  It reminded me that whether the trip was perfect or challenged we shared this experience together.  Thus, it gave us a wonderful basis from which to learn more about each other...  Many of these people know more about me as many read this blog.   That would not have happened without sharing a common experience.  Coming together again turned out to be  most positive and fulfilling.

 Finally, this evening was made more worthwhile by one of our group who took it upon herself to inform us about the philanthropic effort of Daisy and Greg.

Running a restaurant is no easy task and the margins aren’t so great either.  However out of the love of food, people and hospitality our hosts for this evening are an example of people extending their reach to help others.  Daisy and Greg started an organization named “Feed The Valley”.  This effort is to help support those in this agricultural community who are food challenged.  It is a not so obvious problem in this seemingly affluent area.  Giving this effort a spotlight was the perfect use of time as we gathered around this table enjoying exactly that which many cannot.

 How we spend our time is a true-life challenge.  As we chew through the time available, we become more aware of the lack of  time.  I do not care about news that I have no control or have no impact, but I do care about the people I was fortunate enough to share a meal and those that prepared it.  This evening was a valuable use of my time and I hope for theirs’s as well.

 Con Gratitudine e Amore

Has Anyone Noticed…

….that the titans of wealth, fewer regulations and oversight —- airlines, railroads, auto industry, energy, banks etc. along with the venture capital community benefitting from their favored tax treatment through carried interest are the first ones to spend the “crisis weekend” begging to be bailed out by the US government. Does anyone think that this behavior looks particularly egregious in light of the events of last weekend? Or that Barney Frank sits on the board of one of the failed banks? Short term memory issues are a real institutional problem…

I just didn’t want to write about some horrifying news event or some self-serving senator or any number of negative issues.

What I wanted to say is that two months after my knee surgery I was ripping it up on the ski slopes of Colorado with a bunch of thirty somethings. One third of the famous SKI-AMIGOS was celebrating her birthday with her favorite pals and I was invited!! I was so proud of myself for flying and staying there on my cumulated credit card points. This enabled me to squander my savings at Matsuhisa, La Nonna and Kimo Sabe. I have to thank Dr. Matthew Provencher and the fabulous Steadman Clinic for fixing me up. The ability to ski has allowed me to participate in and create memories with my family and friends. We don’t do first chair anymore but that has not diminished our ability to have fun with a sport we love.

Those brief moments of sliding down the mountain has shielded me from the craziness of the world in which we live. A moment to reflect on how fortunate I am to be able to race down the hill with family and friends. I was honored to be included and loved every moment.

ADDED BENEFIT——-I was so busy having fun I didn’t have time to watch the titans begging. - so unattractive…

I love you SKi-AMIGOS

Standing in Line

It is nothing new to say that we are busy.  The electronic gadgets that were supposed to give us time,  has in truth taken time away from us.  Not only has it helped  us develop neck problems and stooped shoulders, it has also moved us away from interacting with each other. 

 The other day I was waiting in Lane #1 for a flight to Denver.  Now Lane #1 used to be a good lane, but  Lane # 1 is actually lane number #5.  Lane #1 allows one to board after the Global People, the 1K people, Women and children, physically challenged, military in Uniform (don’t see too many of those) and on and on. What I noticed was how willing people were to stand in lanes 1 thru 5.  No one is sitting in the chairs;  they are all standing in line.  Listening to some United employee blather on and on about all of these rules and regulations we must adhere to, in order to get on the plane and sit in the tiny seat that we paid for.  I am fascinated by the sea of people with their suitcases of valuable belongings, their children and all of their equipment.  I am fascinated they  are all willingly standing in  line.

 A few minutes before I was walking to my gate and passed a Starbucks or was it Peet’s, regardless there was another group of people willing to wait in line for 30 minutes or more to buy a cup of burned coffee or another such coffee drink.

 That morning I drove to the airport going east on the San Rafael-Richmond Bridge.  I was going in the opposite direction of all the people who were traveling west to work in Marin County or San Francisco.  On most mornings the line that these people were willing to wait extends all the way to Harbor which, for those unfamiliar, is between 3 to 4 miles.  This is not an unusual occurrence; this happens every morning and these people are willing to stand in this line for hours.

 For all of our interest in time – how much of it – what is left of it – better use of it – wasting it -- we put waiting in line in a different category.  What is it about we humans that we are willing to stand in lines? What is it about this activity that we are so willing to accept?   We're literally standing  heads down, looking at our phones, mindlessly  for hours.    We got up early to stand in the security line. Then stand in the line at Starbucks for a drink that will take us 30 minutes to obtain and 5 minutes to consume.  That seems to be the wrong proportion.   We're OK with just standing.  I am standing in this line and decided that this was a worthwhile subject to write about. I don't have a solution. It's amazing that in  a world that is so busy and moves so quickly, standing in line is OK.  Maybe that's just the point.   Standing in line gives us the excuse to actually take a time out.  Last week I wrote about stopping at a red light one evening in my car.   While sitting there I became aware at how relaxed I was for the duration of the red light.  The red light had given me the permission to stop.  Perhaps our obsession with accomplishing has made us starved for moments of relaxation.   It is those  moments  that we are given permission to stop.  Perhaps standing in line is like the red light --- a moment  to stop and relax.  A moment not demanding that something be done, accomplished or problem solved.   However, It would be a lot more fun to be stopping on the beach rather than waiting in line.   

Group 9 you may board……